Almost 4yo girl

Please read how to talk to little kids so they will listen- they also have an audio book. Time out and spanking will not work in a positive way.

1. Cut out all food dyes from her diet. I promise you will see a difference within a few weeks 2. Be consistent with your parenting and make your expectations/ punishments clear. I tell my twin girls (same age as your daughter) something once. If they don’t listen I say it once more and add, “I will not repeat myself” on the end. That tells that that they will revive a punishment if they don’t listen. (Usually the corner just long enough for them to calm down and understand they got in trouble, and then I say “are you ready to talk about it?” Now they know the steps so they actually tell me when they’re calm enough by saying “I’m ready to talk about it.”) 3. Rule number 2 with exceptions- Understand that they’re still toddlers and can’t be perfect all the time. For example, if I’m asking them to clean up their mess and they’re not listening, I’ll offer something like “If you clean your mess up, I’ll help you with it.” I also pay attention to things that could be making them act out

Ie: tired, hungry, over stimulated, etc. 4. Having accidents is normal at this age. Don’t punish her when it happens. Tell her “you need to listen to your body better next time, ok?” 5. Encourage her to name her feelings, this will help her recognize them. One of my girls struggles with regulation sometimes but after me talking about her feelings during her outbursts, she can tell me “I’m frustrated because…” 6. Pull up a calm down chart on your phone. When she’s having a melt down or acting out, show it to her, read her the options, and let her pick a way to calm down.

Not eating her food is also normal for her age. Continue to offer her a variety of foods, but it’s ok if she doesn’t want to eat much. Forcing a child to eat will buy you a quick ticket to an eating disorder by the time she a teenager.

Going through the same with mine. Constant tantrums and talking back . Whining .

You’re totally right about kids picking up behaviors from parents! It’s so tough because obviously we as adults have stressful lives and that bleeds into other aspects of our life, our kids pick up our mannerisms because that’s simply how they learn. I’d definitely start with trying to acknowledge behaviors that you and your husband exhibit that you don’t want her to do (for instance I told my husband to shut up in a joking way and my daughter repeated it so I immediately corrected myself and apologized to my husband and told him that I was sorry for saying something mean). Kids also need to understand that it’s okay to make mistakes as long as we acknowledge them and work to make it better.

You could also super acknowledge all of her positive behaviors! Like when she does a good job with eating her dinner or if she listens after you tell her something make a huge deal out of it and tell her stuffies and her dad and important people in her life about how proud you are of her while making sure she hears you. It always feels good to be recognized when we do something good! And when she has a rough day just simply telling her something about how she’s not behaving the way you’d like her to but you love her and you can try again later. You can also try giving her options like if she’s having a hard time eating, giving her 5 minutes to let her tummy rest before trying a few more bites. Or if she’s having a tantrum acknowledging that maybe she just needs some space to calm down before approaching a situation again. Of course these are just thoughts based on what has worked with me but your parenting journey is 110% yours ❤️