I want another baby :/

So I have a step daughter and my own bio daughter . They dont really have a strong relationship because of age gap and also because sd is primarily at her moms (we live in a diff state). Apart of me wants another baby because so my daughter will have someone to grow up with (yes she has a sibling but it’s hard when she’s hardly even here). Problem is I know it just doesn’t make sense . My husband struggles financially because a lot of his income goes to child support and helping beyond that those means. Our daughter is in kinder now so we no longer have to pay for daycare/ preschool . I work full time so technically I could financially support another baby but family dynamics are already hard when we try to live our lives accommodating step daughter and what feels best for her . It’s hard when I already feel like she has resentment that her half sister doesn’t have two homes . Idk it’s just all a lot and I worry about the mental toll it could have on me . I dealt with PPD because I had to do a lot on my own because of the mess bm and sd had started when I had my daughter . I wish things were better but they’re all very high conflict :( I know I shouldn’t let that stop me from living my life but I can’t help but consider sd in my future because I do care for her

Show your support

Yes for sure this is a tricky situation. I think it’s extremely smart of you to consider all of these factors. Good for you for thinking of sd. I think talking to your husband is your first step. Then any friends or family you could have for help? How old is sd ?

@Aaammgg♥️♥️♥️ my husband wants another but I keep telling him to chill even though I want another . Mainly because I know I’ll have to carry most of the weight while he navigates the struggles of coparenting

Having a second definitely shifts things. You'll probably feel more centered with your kids (less dependent on your husband's feelings about sd), but it will put more strain on your marriage (he'll probably feel more pulled in opposite directions and a little more over/less sympathetic to the struggles of the baby years). 20 years from now if you had to go through 5 hard years to have a second...I bet you'd do it. Save up and make a budget, and include some couples counseling. Think through a support system for when your husband is unavailable, including some stepmom friends who know what the whole deal is... The future doesn't have to be perfect, you can include foreseeable challenges in the plan. Talk about your concerns with your husband and really listen what he has to say. These are the things you'll be arguing about 3-5 years from now, so make sure it's something you can live with. On second thought, maybe just do the counseling now.... 😉

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