Wanting to change

Hi ladies, right now as I am literally writing this, I am just having a mental breakdown and really having a hard real reality on my life. As I look back on my life with relationships that I’ve been in whether that is friendship or dating relationships, I’m always the one who is always Being taken advantage of without knowing it has anyone else ever felt that way? it’s come to a point in my life that, I have to start to think only for myself and not really for others because I’m always the one that cares so much that I would always drop whatever I’m doing and help those that ask, even if it’s those that mistreat me in the end and manipulate me to continue to help them and because of that I had to let go of some people even a 23 year friendship with my best friend that I’ve known for six years. In the past, as I was growing up with her long story short, I would constantly bend over backwards for her to get where she is today and today she is happily married with four kids all because I would be her saving grace and sneak her out to see her boyfriend which is now her husband while they were dating and every time it’s always I need this or I need that for me or my boyfriend has to come with me, etc. feeling like it was more of a one-sided friendship than anything else and now as I look on our current situation. I realize that we are not on the same page in life anymore and because of that I feel like it’s best that we just part ways. I feel like I’ve lost myself as a person because I’ve been somebody’s helper somebody saving Grace you know, especially when it comes to relationships and dating I would always help the person, but in the end, they’re always being mentally or verbally abusive, but I’m always right there for them in the end. Why do I care so much to be there for some body when I know that they won’t be there for me or respect me like how I do or how I am with them? It’s not fair that I am being treated this way and it took me a long time decades really for me to understand that. Call me stupid call me crazy whatever, I’m just a good person that is just constantly being taken advantage of, and I think the best thing for me to do is not only just distance myself from my 23 year friendship but just to cut off completely. I’m just sick and tired of making everybody else’s happiness and happily ever after. Come true when I’m the one that is still struggling with mine.