Not been on holiday

My partner and I have been married for five years. We've not had our honeymoon yet partially cos of covid. Then we had two children. Then now a mortgage. We have stopped dating even before the mortgage. My partner is so consumed with work he's a nurse associate, training to be a nurse which means things wouldn't get any better anytime soon. I also work but 9-5. His schedule kept affecting my work and childcare, my manager had to drop a day off my hours cos he always has some training and childcare mostly falls on me. I'm worried its going to happen again. He changed his hours from night to day, cos his training happens during the day. love that he's advancing in his career but it seems like everything else is on pause cos of that. He's finding it hard to balance family life and work. Even the last meal we had at a restaurant. I had to persuade him to go. I'm just tired of talking about it.

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I'm so sorry to hear that. And completely understandable. Well, if I was in your position, I'd start some limitations. Ask his priorities and what you want to change - more quality time as family and as couples - I'll give myself some time to allow him to try to make some changes. If you had to sacrifice yourself, he should, too. I don't think you are asking too much. Isn't he having 2 days off p/w? I would also ask him if he still loves you and if he still wants to be together. If yes, tell him what your expectations are and tell him what could happen if there are any changes. Tell him how you feel deeply. Just a serious conversation, no need to argue. Also, make sure he isn't feeling he has to choose between work and family. He just needs to find a balance and a happy place. Good luck!!

For better and worse means times like these, unfortunately. Is there an end in sight? Have you guys sat down and discussed healthy boundaries to start initiating to make sure it doesn’t get worse and then start working towards the better? My sis finished nursing school about a year or two ago, and my advice would be for him to dive all in right now to go ahead and get work experience so he can have day time opportunities open up once he’s graduating that could give him the better family-life schedule. It will be tough right now, no doubt. Encourage him through this time. Be his safe space… And communicate about your needs as well. Hopefully he is a man with open eyes whom can see the world outside of his own & how choices affect y’all as a family, not just him. *HUGS* It’s stressful. Here’s hope… My sis just recently got switched to a day shift with much better hours & it has made a world of difference for her and her family. They have to learn how to balance work and family. 👍🏼

Sounds like he’s working his ass off so you can stay home and not worry about money.

@Milly Of course he is but him changing from night shift to day shifts will definitely affect my 9-5 hours. We have 2 young kids who are not in full time education. I can't keep being the one cutting my hours while he keeps progressing. He doesn't give me money for my personal maintenance. It's 2025. I'm not giving up my earning power cos life happens and I won't be caught stuck with no finances.

@Milly you understand she's working too, right?

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