Help

I think the best course of action is for you to not engage with her at all and let your husband internalize that. Continue doing what you do.

I dealt with the same thing i learned my lesson i choose to do no contact my fiancé’s schedule changed so some pick up and drop offs i do and she said i just have her text me i said no be at the door at drop off and pick you know the time and she wont dare try to speak to me we have a custody order so i don’t need to have a conversation at all trust me best decision that i could make

I know exactly what you have to deal with since I stopped all engagement with her things have gotten wayyyyy better for me My husband does all communication I help as much as I can when my SD is here with us but I do not text BM, I don’t talk to BM at drop off and pick ups she lost that privilege with me a long time ago the most she gets out of me is a hello or a wave 👋🏻 she’s not my BM I’m only here for the child

Like the top comment said, I just wouldn't engage with the bm. She's being unreasonable and honestly there's no reason for you to be conversing with her, just let your husband do it. And no def not in the wrong for loving and making sure your step kid is taking care of. I would find a problem if you didn't do that, you got into a relationship knowing he had a kid. My belief is if you do that then you should want to treat that kid as your own. I always tell ppl my stepkids are just my kids, I love them the same as my actual kid.