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Are you able to talk like in a pod I’m sure your super busy in desperate
You need to leave him. This is NOT something that can be prayed about. That is a shallow man who does not love you for your soul. You put on weight carrying his baby. If he doesn't find you even more beautiful now, then he was already looking elsewhere.
Biblically, no it is not a divorcing matter, as difficult as it is!! You two should absolutely pursue Christian couples counseling. I wish I had more advice than that! He is definitely not loving you as he should but it’s not something that warrants divorce according to the Bible.
Only question I have is do you want to lose weight for you? For better, for worse, sickness and health the covenant he made before God. Pray, counselling, work out together, make time for each other before you make any hasty decisions. I wish I could of saved my marriage but I stand by my choice to leave and live alone
It’s something that can be worked through, it just requires intervention.
@Anita I absolutely do I was working on it and been working on it before I got pregnant with our second baby because I knew he wasn’t fully attracted to me I mentioned that to him “for better out for worse” but he said there odd nothing hindering you from losing the weight now . I definitely agree we absolutely do need counseling! He fully believes that every man feels the way he feels, wouldn’t be attracted to their wives if they gained weight it’s really crazy
@Carlyn you’re absolutely right, we do need Christian counseling! I don’t feel truly loved by him at all and what kill’s me is that he consider himself Saved and follower of Christ!
@Star that’s exactly how I feel!!!!
I think relationships always require work, and nobody should be expected to be perfect. Since this is something that is bothering you you should both definitely try to work through it. Being postpartum definitely hinders weight loss, so it seems he has some misunderstanding and skewed expectations. I think ultimately though the choice of divorce is up to you, but shouldn’t be rushed into. If you try counseling and working on it together and he doesn’t change and things don’t get better in your relationship, then I think divorce is something to consider seriously.
@Star This is not actually biblical. I can understand the OPs frustration and pain but we are all shallow in our own ways. We all have sin issues and marriage is more than just whether or not a spouse is making us happy. Marriage is just as much about our sanctification, about growing spiritually etc Our husbands are not perfect and neither are we. The world will typically follow the view you are sharing but there is very very good biblical reason to not divorcing over this situation. I’m happy to discuss this more too from a Christian perspective because I know you are still learning as well. This is not a judgement or criticism, but loving correction is all .
@Keisha🌹Has he suggested divorce, or is this your anxiety about the situation speaking? And do you want to lose the weight for you or because he is making you feel insecure? I'd get some Christian counseling together and maybe he should get a mentor. And please pray for him and for your marriage. He needs to work through this because your bodies are both going to change as you get older and attraction cannot be based only on the physical when you have committed to someone for life. He also needs to understand that losing weight might not be easy for you like it used to be because of hormones. Some people lose the pregnancy weight really easily and some people don't. There is no way he would know which type you are. Plus people tend to gain weight as they age. So the comment about nothing hindering you from losing the weight is uninformed. I pray that God will open his eyes and heart to understand that and reveal any areas where he needs to surrender to God more fully.
@Jamila I offered a divorce because he said he thinks about my weight all the time ! I don’t want him to be miserable or unhappy ! I really do love him ! And if it means finding someone who is his type so be it . Yes I want to lose the weight I’ve been working on it I dropped about 30lbs before I got pregnant because he mentioned it before after I had my 1st baby . After having my second baby who is 5 months I’ve been trying to! I’m down to my starting weight ! Please keep us in your prayers !!! We truly need it !
@Keisha🌹 I'm not saying it's good for him to be miserable. But as a Christian husband, he's called to love you through all the "hardships." Thinking someone is overweight is 0 reason for a divorce. If he's unhappy, he should be praying and doing his part as a husband first and foremost. Marriage is not about your "type." He made a covenant with you. It's his responsibility to stick to it.
@Hayleigh yessss I fully agree!!!!
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@Hayleigh this 💯 Also, love is not based on physical attraction. It is a choice. And sometimes when we don't feel like it, making a choice to love, serve and pray for the other person actually causes the feelings/attractions to grow.
This is spiritual warfare my love. I agree with the other ladies that, biblically there’s no grounds for divorce. You are in a covenant with your husband. However, if he’s obsessing about your weight, this is deeper than just him not liking it. I would most definitely seek to do counseling with him. But sister, you have to be in your prayer closet for this man. Your marriage is under attack. And as hard as this is, I want you to see this from a spiritual perspective as well. It’s not just your husband but the enemy attacking you through him.
Absolutely not. I don't want to discount how frustrating or discouraging it may be. But it's something that needs to be prayed about and talked about between you two.