Anyone else still struggle with sleep? 😫😫😫

I feel you hunny! I also have a partner who doesn’t do the night time care but that’s not through him not wanting to, it’s down to the fact our boy won’t settle for anyone but me in the night.. 19 months in and I feel mentally, physically and emotionally done! Nothing I do makes our boy sleep through the night, on average he wakes 3-4 times but some nights, like last night it was every 20 minutes… I find myself sat at his cot crying most nights because I just don’t know what else to do. We’ve cut out naps/reduced nap time but that just makes him go to bed overtired and wakes more frequently, I’ve tried pushing bedtime back and letting him nap longer but again doesn’t make him sleep all night. Some children just don’t need a mass amount of sleep and unfortunately it’s just how it is. I’m also currently poorly with some sort of flu virus atm which has literally kicked my ass big time and that’s making everything 10 x harder 😭😭😭

My older girls didn’t sleep through the night until they started full time school so I know it will end eventually but how I’m going to survive another 2.5 years is beyond me right now! Hang on in there mama xxx

@Stacey good luck, 20mins is beyond brutal I was lamenting 30mins last week and this week to be fair its been 3-6 times I reckon but I don't keep track as it makes me too depressed! I cant seem to get more than 12h total sleep out of him throughout 24 h and find he wakes less in nighttime if he had a full 1h 45min nap or 2h but my partner wants earlier bedtime above all else and regardless of consequences for night wakings

Sending solidarity! We get a maximum of 12 hours sleep in 24 hours but often more like 11. The reality is low sleep needs babies often need later bedtimes (dad may need to get his head round this). My son often doesn’t go to bed until 9/9:30 wakes at 7 and 4 wakes overnight would be an average night even when co-sleeping. The after nursery separation anxiety does get better! When my LO started nursery nights were horrific he woke constantly looking for me but as he settled in this did settle. I think your partner needs to realise that the reality is every baby is different and the 7-7 doesn’t work for every baby. You can’t change your babies sleep needs and make them need more sleep etc so it’s just about maximising sleep with the cards you’ve been dealt. My partner also never used to help through the night, I EBF and I think that played a role and even now still nursing my son wants me when he wakes but over time we’ve transitioned to dad doing some of the

Co-sleeping to give me a break and slightly longer stretches. I try to remember it won’t be forever and one day they won’t need us this intensely anymore but it is so tough in the right now. Give yourself grace, you haven’t failed ❤️

@Yasmin thank you ever so much its exactly thr kind of similar experience I was hoping to hear to not feel so alone. How on earth did you get your son to accept cuddles with dad? Last night only dad was in bed for the first wake as I was trying to get my evening stretch done in thr living room and it just didn't work at all. I think he wasn't cuddling him just shushing and holding a hand on him and I know that's not enough for the 1st wake. He brought him to the kitchen asking if he can give expressed milk 🙈 So happy for you that the nursery separation anxiety ended eventually. You gave me hope so thank you ❤️❤️❤️ I haven't gotten him to sleep more than 11 h in the night (regardless of how many wakings) for absolutely months, maybe not since his birthday but I'm not sure. I know we had less wake ups at 14mo but I don't remember if the duration of sleep was better in December

So I work 3 nights a week which helped because I wasn’t an option and dad had no choice so they just had to find a way. It was super tough in the beginning, dad was very stressed and my son was obviously upset that mum and milk weren’t there (he won’t accept milk in a bottle or cup either which doesn’t help). But eventually we got there with some persistence, I knew my son was safe with his dad and being cared for and they’ll always be upset at the adjustment it’s all they’ve ever known, dad rocks him and sings his favourite nursery rhymes until he falls back to sleep. Ironically now he goes to bed for dad much easier than me (I’m the soft touch 😂) but in the night even now he still looks for me first before he will settle for dad. We have found in the night without me/ milk he’s very thirsty so I’d suggest getting dad to offer plenty of water and he’s also sometimes genuinely hungry so have some snacks on hand. In terms of the waking and length of nights I found surrendering

To it rather than trying to change it really helped me mentally! I drove myself crazy for months trying to ‘fix’ his sleep and now I’ve accepted he’s just a god awful sleeper (good job he’s cute!) I find it easier to cope with. My advice would be to get dad on board with helping in the nights because even a 3 hour stretch uninterrupted (I sleep on the sofa and it’s bliss 😂) will make you feel soooo much better I promise ❤️ Sometimes dad can’t settle my son and I have to go in and that’s okay with me but it feels so much better to know you’re not in it alone! & if dad refuses to help then I’d follow your own routine for whatever gets you the most sleep because it’s not fair he dictates an early bedtime if it causes more night waking (for you or baby) and then doesn’t deal with the consequences x

@Yasmin thank you so much, yes I had surrendered and accepted it but he's pretty much saying I'm not making sure that the LO gets enough sleep ie I'm failing and that hurts so much

You’re not failing, he’s failing to understand your LO’s lower sleep needs because it doesn’t fit with his expectation that young children go to bed early. Don’t let him put this onto you!