Intimacy issues

Hi ladies I'm a bit embarrassed posting this so thought this might be the right group. Sorry if it's not appropriate. So me and my husband aren't very happy with our intimate life... he isn't happy because we're not intimate enough and I'm not happy because I'm just not really enjoying it as much. To be fair, he does make me finish every time and I'm trying to be grateful because I'm aware it's more than most women get. But my issue is that he'll finish me with his hands and then when it comes to actual intercourse, he wants to lie there and me to do all the work. We talked a while back and he tried for a bit to be more proactive but that went away quickly and now it's back to me again. And while I don't necessarily mind doing that here and there if that's all there is I'm just not looking forward to it. I don't know how to explain to him that I'm not happy with this since in his head if he's made me finish he's done his job.. I want to enjoy the whole process more and to feel like it's a more mutual experience if that even makes any sense 😭 Does this sound like a normal thing to be unhappy about? Am I crazy? I honestly have no idea anymore

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How you feel is normal, plus its hard for us women to still have the drive or energy to keep going after we have already orgasmed. Or at least thats my experience. I feel like the best solution is for him to listen to you and stay consistent, but you already tried that. Another idea would be that you try having an orgasm in a different way or at a different time. I mean there are so many different combinations of things you could do differently... positions, the order you do things, using toys, oral sex, anal sex, etc... EDIT: if he wants more sex then he needs to do his part to get more sex. That means changing it up for you. It definitely is a more mutual thing.

Thank you @Dana I just feel like I'm feeling too awkward to raise the same thing multiple times, it's hard enough doing it once 😬

In a marriage you should feel comfortable enough to be completely open & truthful all the time. I learned that the hard way. If you cant ask for what you need and feel like he will help you, then its not a sex problem, its a communication/relationship problem . If its hard to say " Hey I'm tierd of bringing this up, I have brought it up so much to the point where it feels awkward to keep saying it, but I am having trouble with our sex life & I really need to work through it together to make it better. I need more from you, & I feel like you aren't listening to my needs etc etc" Anyways if you cant say that to him either cause you are having trouble saying it, or cause you know he will have trouble hearing it, or cause maybe you guys just don't usually problem solve together well, then maybe its less of a sex problem & more of a relationship/lack of teamwork problem.

It took a lot to get to where I am with my husband, but in general for all things with him, I don't hesitate, I ask whatever I want to ask right away & we work on whatever it is together.

Don’t worry same thing is happening with me and my partner we havnt been able to do anything since the baby was born

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