Ladies , PLEASE HELP A MOTHER OUT !!!!

Backstory : I’ve been with my bd for 3 years now &’ 3 years ago in the beginning of our relationship I cheated on this man 3x with the same person , I did it out of pettiness , yes it’s wrong and I came forward and admitted my wrongs , mind you this man has not done shi to me but treat me wrong. He wouldn’t make time for me , always bitching bout everything , it was always that damn Xbox before anything , never spending time with me , never of nothing. Before me he dated my bestfriend Katie and she cheated on him and he came to me and that’s when me and him started to have a thing … now 3 years later we’re still with this on and off relationship and he says how he’s always tired of this shi and idk what okay in 2022 of September I had found out that I was pregnant with our son and he didn’t believe me , he’s never really es sustained a job and he would blame me even though when we would break up he would up and leave , then we started to work together and he started to fuck with my job bc he became my ride … well now that me and him have a almost 2 yr old technically his bday is on the 14 of May but he left me and his son to go back to Bakersfield because at that time he was seeing a girl named jasmine , well weeks go by and they didn’t work out or whatever , so because I don’t tell his man who im with or where im at or when I go out or who I hang out with on the weekends he says we’ll go to court if you keep lying to me he says I lie because everytime he ask me if I seen anyone or anything I always say no because again if we ain’t together and he’s kid isn’t with me he don’t need to know what I do right ? Okay well on weekends my son stays with my grandma again me and my mom live together and she’s been helping me provide for my son since I can’t work atm and the dad regardless if we together or not he don’t help me buy anything for my son , and when my son was born he didn’t want anything to do with him. But now this man has always put his phone in the middle especially if he ain’t doing nothing wrong and lately he moves the phone with him when he turns and stuff and we don’t even kiss no more , we haven’t had intercourse for a few days now , yes we call each other babe but that’s the most he don’t hold my hand , he don’t hug me or kiss me none of that … so right now I had asked him for his phone he said no I don’t want you to have my phone right now . But he could grab my phone anytime and any day with NO HESITATION!!!! I want to be with him and be a family but him being sketchy OHHHH AND LETS NOT FORGET THAT WHEN HE ASKED ME A FEW DAYS AGO WHEN MY CARD GETS Delivered IS IT OKAY IF I GO TO Bakersfield by MYSELF AGAIN MIND YOU I ALWAYS GO DOWN THERE WITH HIM REGARDLESS IF WE TOGETHER OR NOT. So that is even weird and yes I did end up going but we went towards the afternoon again totally unexpected and I borrow money to put gas in his car when we’re low in case I wanna do anything or whatever I get the money he don’t . Idk what to do or whatever to think
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Honestly, I’d say just move on because that relationship sounds extremely toxic and not something anyone wants for their kid. Also, chances are he’s definitely cheating, even if he “forgave you” for when you cheated on him keep in mind men are equally as petty and hold grudges. Good luck and hope you find peace and a better partner.

You say he does nothing for your son so I don’t understand why you would want to be with him if he’s a crap dad. Also major trust issues.

@Ana I live with my mom and he don’t live with me babe , he just spends the week here but he’s going back home tomorrow for Mother’s Day since he’s a huge grandmas boy.. I can’t move on and find a better person because then he gets in the way of it and says we’re gonna do court because he’s all up in my business

@Kelly yes I don’t trust him because he’s lied so much on my name and not only that but he’s made me look bad for him to look good with his grandma he’s a grandmas boy and she won’t correct him even if he’s in the wrong

@Kelly he don’t provided nothing for my kid but physically is around him and spends a little time with him but that’s bout it

That explains everything 🙃 all mommy/granny boys are the absolute worst… I had to deal with one of those dimwits myself and man is it draining.

Are yall like 18-20 years old you sound like kids. You can’t move on and find a better person because you’re choosing not to.

@Allexys I’ve tried babe , I can’t because this man always wants to know what the fuck im doing and who im with and if ive had intercourse with someone else . It ain’t easy when he’s always playing the victim but making me look bad .

@Ana no really babe , that shi is draining and is fucken annoying and just puts so much shit on me it’s like if im single I can’t be me or find me someone better because this man always wants to bring in court.

Everytime he does something to show/prove that he’s incompetent keep it as evidence incase he does take you to court. Also if he starts to become too much (as in getting aggressive) then try to get some sort or restraining order. If you can I’d suggest trying to set boundaries with him which good luck with that because he sound like he’s got a smooth ass brain.

@Ana yeah no it’s a fight …

Of course it is… swear those boys need a good whooping. All that you can do the. Is to beat him at his own game by pulling an uno reverse and giving him a taste of his own medicine.

@Ana like how though ?

So don’t talk to him unless it’s about the child. Literally ignore it.

Why not go to court so you don’t have to see or talk to him unless it’s about your kid.

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I know I'm going to sound really harsh, but frankly, both of you sound very immature and toxic for each other. And it's not fair to your child because he is going to grow up seeing all of this toxicity. You need to permanently end it with him, focus on doing everything you can to give your child the best life possible, and work on bettering yourself so you can be the amazing mother that your child deserves. And of course sue that a-hole for child support. You got this! I know you can do it. ❤️

@Allexys I’ve tried that and it came to the point that he’ll blow up my phone non stop and starts callin my mom

@Allexys he don’t wanna pay child support or anything

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