Idk unless I ask and I’m just desperate enough….

I’m a 38-year-old single mother to a 17 year-old son who has Lennox Gastaut Syndrome, (LGS) Epilepsy-seizures, ADHD, behavior issues, cognitive disabilities, and is Autistic witha recent diagnosis of IBS to explain his incontinence. It truly does take a village. Up until May 2024 I had help from my mother, a.k.a. grandma, to help watch my son and stay home with him so I could work. I had an amazing job as a logistics manager and project manager assistant for a Windows covering distributor in New Orleans, Louisiana for four years. The beginning of last year, my mother got sick and couldn’t take care of my son so I came home to help take care of her only to find out that she was being diagnosed with stage four cancer and subsequently passed away three weeks later. Four months later, I was forced to amicably part ways with my employer from Louisiana due to the fact that my position required more hands-on, then remote, and my son decided he no longer like going to school and now averages attendance one to two days out of a week. Because of this, I am not able to get a new office job or a good paying study full-time part-time job because my schedule is very fluid. I’ve tried to find work from home, remote jobs with no luck. I have become depressed myself, and I am most days, unhappy and trapped in my situation. My stepfather who I currently live with still has guardianship of my son And will not give him back to me. December 2024 I petition the courts to reopen my custody case so I could be reunified with my son at the beginning of which my stepfather was on board with until he realized that he had to relinquish the control of the money my son gets from disability And the enormous debt he was left in from my mother and having just gotten on Social Security himself and retired. He cannot financially survive without my son‘s money. So just as it was time to go to court he began to raise concerns. Enough that I recognized the potential damage he could do, so I halted the proceedings the following month. He also has begun to treat me as though I’m the wife of the household, expecting me to cook and clean. literally nothing gets cleaned in that house unless I’m the one to do it, and he resents that I have neglected chores or cooking or anything, almost as though, now that my mom’s gone and no longer here to take the brunt of it, he’s taking all of his frustrations and anger out on me. It has escalated to physical abuse this last altercation and i’m scared to stay because of the increase in intensity, but I’m even more scared to leave because I would have to leave my son behind with him and I do not like how my stepfather can be with my son when he gets frustrated with my son for refusing to get a shower or refusing to go to school or refusing to do something, my stepfather tends to get physical and drowns him with ice cold bottles of water, practically water boarding him in a way. My son has already withdrawn so much since my mother passed and already exhibits depression and anxieties that I don’t feel like I can leave him again alone with Papa. He can’t process every situation correctly and I fear it would would trigger his fear of abandonment even further causing irrevocable damage. My stepfather has already locked me out of the home. On more than one occasion and changed the locks. I no longer have a key to the house, so he has previously prevented me from collecting my belongings, as well as checking on my son or seeing my son, so if I leave, there’s a big possibility that he would not let me back in, especially if I was unwilling to cave to his way of things, I very much believe he would use my son as a weapon and not allow me to see him as punishment for what he would see as, abandonment. I’m terrified to call Department Of Children’s & Family because I don’t wanna risk my son getting taken away from me and I am in no way in a position to get him back anytime soon . I know if I could just keep my head down and figure out my financial situation enough that at least my bills could be paid, My goal would be to get my things together and when I’m close to or have it together, then make a move because at least I would have ground to stand on. The vocal point to this: all of my bills have, month by month become progressively later and later to the point I’m having to pick which ones to pay and which ones to go to collections. to supplement income. I began driving for Uber /DoorDash /lyft, however, I live in a very rural area so is not enough to pay my bills and I have fallen into debt. My car payment was due on 29 April, my car insurance has lapsed and I am going to need to put a down payment on a new policy, and my phone bill has two days before it will be shut off . I rely on my phone for my job as that is the only way that I am able to do my job. I’m hoping that by sharing my story anyone would be able to give me any ideas as far as what I can do for work if you have any pointers or know of anyone who is hiring for remote positions I am desperate for employment. I already have a set up at home to work from home. I have 20+ years working in customer service, office, assistant roles, as well as sales and marketing. I truly believe that if I could get my finances back under control, my stress and anxiety would lesson, and I would not feel so trapped. Feeling as though I don’t have any other option is a very debilitating and hopeless feeling, but if I had a job and could afford to go get my own place if he didn’t wanna work things out with me or if he were to kick me out and lock me out, I wouldn’t have to live in my car. I could go get a room for the night, I need financial independence desperately!!!! That is where I need to start at least, For everything else to start. I’m desperate and just reaching out, hoping that somebody can help me figure out a way to become financially independent given my circumstances. I also am hoping that maybe there is at least one person out there in this world that might be going through something similar or might have made it through something similar and could give me some helpful tricks on how to manage my day-to-day and stay sane and not completely fall apart, low key wanting to jump off the bridge every day. I don’t want to just ask for money. I am willing to work for it and I am a great reliable and responsible employee so please if anyone could help.??? And for the record I do know that money is not everything that there’s more to life than money. However, money is essential to survive and a minimum amount of money is essential for everyone’s happiness because without it. Destitute. I’m also working daily on changing my perspective and outlook on things to not be so pessimistic or to maybe let go and let God more to. I do have faith that the Lord will provide and will carry me through and all of these things but to get from point A to point B, there’s also a very Factual step-by-step process that has to be carried out by me realistically and I’m trying to remind myself to be grateful for what I do have. in the job I do have I to give rides to people who are less fortunate, or who are in way more significantly abusive or manipulative situations than I am. Just when I think my story is bad. I hear someone else’s so I am aware that I need to work on being more grateful for what I do have and I want to!!! I miss my old self! I want to be grateful I want to be happy again. I want to be carefree or at least to feel independent and strong And deserving of my son. I wanna feel like I am capable of being his mother and ever since I lost my job all of that’s gone away and it just seems to be getting worse so that’s why I keep coming around too. I think if I could just get the job a good job that that’s the best place for me to start anyways