Influence on child

Being the oldest myself, I say it’s a bit of both. It’s definitely ultimately up to the parents, but sometimes the older sibling might need to set an example just because the younger ones might look up to them or wanna be like them (I know from personal experience lol)

It’s everyone’s job

I'd say both honestly. My youngest learns alot from his big sister just from being around her all day, so she definitely influences his behavior...

The entire family should be setting the right example to everyone

It's a difficult one that I'm glad I won't have to navigate because I'm one and done 😂 but I think if the older child is being told to behave for the sake of their influence on the younger one, are they really learning why they should behave in a certain way or do they just have to act in said way because of their sibling? If the older child is purposely trying to influence a younger child to dangerous behaviour then that needs to be talked about in the context of siblings, behaviour can be addressed with the sibling in mind. But I do think it's a bit lazy to tell the older child off for "setting a bad example" and I don't think it's great to teach the younger one(s) that they can blame older children for their actions. It's all dependant on age and age gaps as well as the scenario and I don't think it's ever really possible to get the sibling balance perfect but I know what it's like to be the older kid blamed for everything, it was kind of shitty. My sister was very good at acting innocent 😂

Can it not be both?

@Kirsty why does it also fall on the child tho? I was the oldest and was constantly told I shouldn’t dress or act a certain way cause of my lil sister, Which turned me into a raging people pleaser with no backbone. Obviously there is a fine line, if the older one if purposely influencing the younger ones to do or say bad things that’s a problem. But if the older one is simply just being themselves, finding their own style, their own personality, and what not, It is not up to them to influence the younger ones. It’s ultimately up to the parents to raise and teach the younger ones that they also have their own style, personality, etc.. it shouldn’t be a child’s job to help raise their siblings imo 🤷🏻‍♀️

Hold on, you have made a jump from "influencing" to directly stating that the older one is not allowed a personality because they have to set an example. The older sibling does have to set an example. Like brushing teeth for instance. Or helping them get their school uniform on. If the older one doesn't want to do something like ... Piano lessons for example, then they shouldn't be bullied in to it for the sake of their you ger siblings. Two very different topics there. To answer your original question - yes, the older siblings should be involved in influencing the younger ones. It takes a village to raise a family. Siblings are part of that village. They obviously shouldn't be potty training their younger siblings but saying to little sibling "look how older sibling uses the toilet, do you want to give that a try?" Is absolutely vital in my opinion. I want my children to rely on each other, not be so independent that they don't interact in those ways, that will affect them as they grow up.