And trust me I know how impossible it pointless that feels at times but you've it this and you can get out of it 💕
She won't remember, but you will always have mum guilt. I went through the same with my baby's dad and then I got help through the prenatal mental health team and feeling now im a lot better and my daughter is seeing a happier mama. You got this mama, just reach out for help for yourself ❤️
Please please please go to the doctors or call your health visitor. I've been there and I do still sometimes still go back there but the only way you can help your little one is by helping yourself. ❤️ Model for her exactly what you would want her to do, get help ❤️