Recently single

Hi sorry that you’re going through this. His loss.

Lots of men not cut out 4 parenting

I feel so lost and I know I have done nothing wrong- he told me he still loves me but how can he if he can just walk away from his child

I’m so sorry you’re going through this I can really relate. I went through something similar, and it felt so overwhelming trying to hold it together emotionally while growing a baby. One thing that really helped me was reading stories from other mums who’ve been through it and came out stronger. I actually found an ebook that talks about baby daddy situations, healing, setting boundaries, and finding your strength again — it felt like the big sister talk I needed. If you’d ever like the link, I’m happy to send it ❤️ You’re not alone, and you’ve got this.

@Pauline he knows how to be a parent he has 2 children in primary school but I don’t understand why he’s chose to leave to be with them if he has a child on the way

So he just used you to get pregnant? I’m so sorry. Another child he’s ditched. You do you, see if you’re ready to be attached to him for 18 years. I’m so sorry x

Try to focus on silver lining. Easier said than done of course. Were you in love with him?

@Chloe well this is sort of what it feels like because although we had discussed having children and our future and what not it was a split second one minute he was there and in for it all and the next day he said things were over and packed his stuff.

Until the baby is here, it's your body and you don't have to let him come to any scans, appointments, or the birth. Obviously once baby is here things get more complicated, but for now do what is right for you, not what he wants.

@Pauline we had not been together long but had been friends/work colleagues for 2 years. The situation which brought us together was rocky and was not great but we was making it work until his ex said that she was taking the kids away and he couldn’t bare to be without the kids and somehow wants to have those kids and ours but it won’t work because she’s not happy

@Kate I don’t know what I want I am so confused. I want him to be apart of both our lives but I know he won’t be anything to do with me

@Primrose does he pay for his current two kids? How does he describe the mum? Have you spoke to her yourself? Could you reach out to her?

@Chloe he does currently pay for his other 2 children yes. He describes the mum from a mum perspective as an amazing mum that does anything for them-not true as she’s been picking and choosing when he can see the children and who they can be around. There mum doesn’t like me and this was a major issue because I wasn’t allowed around the children which put a strain on the relationship with my partner because he’s not been able to have them overnight which he felt he was not doing enough for them.

aw hun I wish I could give you a hug, your going through a life changing situation and he up and leaves I’m glad he wants to stay active but actions are louder than words of he is committed to that his ex need to but out !! Hoping you find peace and remain strong for your baby and yourself :( xxx

@Primrose it's early days and you have a lot of time to decide how involved you wish him to be. I wish I could be more help, but ultimately you need to make the decision of whether you would rather do this alone or have him somewhat in the picture. Do you have anyone else for support to go to appointments, scans and things?

@Kate yes I have the support of my best friend and her partner (her partner sees me as a little sister) there is 7 months left to decide if what I want when the baby is here but for now I must sit with my thoughts and try and get my head around what has happened and why

Sorry to hear. There was a few weeks in my first trimester where my partner and I were arguing non-stop. We considered splitting. I also considered an abortion. And he said the same about coming to scans, and in my head I thought no way. We worked through our issues and are still together but if my guy became my ex during my pregnancy I would not want him at any scans. I'd share the photos with him, but I wouldn't be able to move on during the process if he is still playing 'the partner' role. Your ex is conflicted, don't let his ex drama affect you emotionally. Whatever you decide, do what's best for you and your son. Take time to process it as its probably still fresh. Weigh up the pros and cons.