Advice? Rant? Idk
Hey yall. I’m a 26 year old SAHM of Irish twins (14 months and 4 months) my boyfriend is an over the road truck driver. Gone Sunday through Friday. This week it’s Sunday-today leaving tomorrow. Well here’s some context.
We got together January of 2024. I was 36 weeks pregnant with my first (not biologically his) he had us move in in April 2024 we found out about our second may ‘24 had her in December of ‘24. So VERY close in age. So to save some money, I became a SAHM. Leaving my home state and my job to come up here with him. (Neighboring states) my family is 2.5 hours away. His is 5.5 hours away. So I don’t have help. I’ve made one close friend here on this app and we meet up occasionally. Well back in January his old job didn’t work him for 3 months. Now he’s playing catch up with bills. I’ve gotten to the point I scrounge change to get my needs because I don’t want to burden him more. (I know I need to tell him, it just results in him sulking around blaming himself) but about a month ago, I caught him deleting girls pictures off his phone. He doesn’t know I know. Well since that, he’s only been doing bare minimum when he’s home. He does the dishes once. Other than that all child care, cooking, cleaning and anything else the house/kids/dogs need falls on me. I finally brought it up to him how I feel like he only does the bare minimum and I’m grateful he does the dishes when he’s home, but our kids need a dad too. Not just someone on their phone or Xbox. And now it’s a pity party, sulking around and silent treatment. I’m so so very close to packing what I can in a stroller (it’s his truck I drive) and finding somewhere me and my two young kiddos can go because I don’t feel okay. I’ve opened up how I’ve wanted to off myself. DONT WORRY IM OKAY NOW. And nothing changed. I’ve told him countless times I’m drowning and need help and his only solution is to call his mom. She’s very judgmental and doesn’t follow my eldest kiddos schedule. We’re in que for an autism diagnosis. I guess I just need to rant/vent and get advice. What would you do if you were me. I quite literally manage everything alone with zero help. So what’s the point in continuing a relationship. There’s no spark anymore. He doesn’t even wanna touch me, no little gestures of love. I’m so broken right now.
Show your support
Would it be possible for you to move back in with the parents temporarily whilst you sort your own stuff out, like a home, job, childcare…? I can’t imagine how hard it is for you but don’t give up xx
@Nadiah no, they’re across state lines, live in a camper trailer with 3 people and 5 dogs and I have a dog and two kids.
Trending in our community
I can’t fully understand how difficult you have it as I just have the one and I have so many days I feel overwhelmed and in the beginning I completely felt like my husband did not carry his weight whatsoever. It took a lot of conversations, tears, arguments, me leaving him to take care of her whilst I even just went for a walk for my sanity. He realised that’s even though what I’m doing may not be as physically exhausting as his job, mentally it’s a lot. I told him I am happy to be a SAHM but you are still one half of her parent so that does mean nappy changing, feeding and also helping with housework if I’m too busy. He has improved so much but if a person does not want to change, they will not. You will hold resentment and become this naggy person you don’t recognise. The picture thing is very disrespectful to you also. Do what’s best for you but don’t wait around and expect someone to change if they don’t want to. It takes two to make a relationship work. Good luck 🫶🏻