What would you expect?
Hi, I'd really appreciate some opinions on this. I feel like my partner just follows me around observing rather than actually participating in things. Like we went to the beach a few weeks ago, and he just sat there with his socks and shoes on and didn't really do anything while I showed our daughter the sea, took her paddling, played in the sand and with pebbles. Today, we went to a fruit and veg picking event at a local farm and he just hovered by the edge and didnt pick anything, just waited. It always goes that way. It feels like it's always me finding things for us to do with our 18 month old, and he'll come along but just not want to actually do it. He can't ride a bike and won't learn how so if I ever want to go for a cycle, it'll just be me and little one. It feels quite lonely actually, it's a bit like I'm dragging a teenager around with me who doesn't want to be there. He doesn't moan but just doesn't really get involved and isn't proactive about finding things to do, and it's just not at all how I envisaged what it would be like to have a family. I feel really sad about it. Would you expect more from your partner, or is this pretty standard? I get so fed up with it and feel like I might as well just go by myself (with my little one). Should I just be grateful he comes at all?
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What great advice, thank you so much 😊
Well done for all you’re doing! Is he ok? Does he partake / find joy in other things? I know your little one is 18m but just checking he’s hasn’t got post natal depression or just actual depression etc…? He might seem a little checked out for that reason.
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Hi mama, you’re doing great finding these wonderful family activities and creating memories! Sounds like it might be time for a discussion or could be framed as a brainstorm to collectively find ideas together. I would ask him what some of his fondest memories were when he was that age or in general as a kid? What are things he’d like to do and create for your child? As your baby gets older, they will start to remember key moments so just having a chat around what core memories do you both want to create for your little one. Maybe encourage something that could also just be baby and daddy so they get bonding time. Doesn’t need to be long but it would be their own little tradition. If he can’t bike, could he join in another capacity? Scooter, rollerblades, skateboard, jog next to you guys? There’s ways he might not know how to get involved and be an active participant. There physically there doesn’t mean he’s present, but if he can contribute ideas it could change things around.