I’m too tired to formulate coherent thoughts. So if someone could please explain this to my husband why what he did was bad, that would be great 😆

Men suck.

I'm too vocal to not be like get your ass in here, I'm going to shower lol but I feel you. Men are ridiculous

@Alex I do that sometimes, but I’m just so tired of ASKING and telling him what to do. I feel like some times are obvious that he needs to step in and take over or offer help. He knows I don’t get days off. On Sat, I expect help, maybe 🤷🏻‍♀️

Get rid of him.

Hi [Husband’s Name], I want to try and explainwhy today hurt more than it might seem on the surface—because it’s not just about this one moment. It’s about what that moment represents. She’s holding everything together, day in and day out—keeping your child safe, fed, clean, soothed, and entertained, often while exhausted and touched out. She’s doing this with no scheduled breaks, no guaranteed clock-out time, and no weekends off. So when your toddler was melting down and she was knee-deep—literally—in an explosive diaper, and you walked past her to take a shower, what she felt wasn’t just stress. She felt abandoned. Unseen. Like her needs were invisible and your comfort still came first—even when hers had been on hold for 24+ hours straight. When you said, “It looked like you had it under control,” it unintentionally sent the message: “You’re on your own. I’m not stepping in unless it’s on fire.” But the truth is, support doesn’t start when she’s drowning. It starts before that.

But the truth is, support doesn’t start when she’s drowning. It starts before that. It starts with stepping in without being asked, noticing that she hasn’t had a shower, a break, or peace, and choosing to act like you're on the same team. This isn’t about attacking you. It’s about helping you see the full emotional weight that moms—especially stay-at-home moms—carry. If she says she’s exhausted, it’s not weakness. It’s a signal she’s been strong for too long without help. The good news? You can start repairing this by recognizing the moment, taking accountability, and showing up a little more. It doesn’t take perfection—just effort and awareness.

To anonymous- You’re not overreacting. You’re overwhelmed. And that’s not the same thing. You are in a constant cycle of tending to someone else’s needs, with no clock-out time, no backup, and no guaranteed time to meet your own basic needs (like showering). That is not sustainable, and your exhaustion is valid. You’re not asking for luxury—you’re asking for partnership. Shared responsibility. The kind of teamwork where someone sees what’s happening and steps in without being aske

Tell him it's time for a schedule. Put an actual paper calendar (one week, by hour) in front of him. Block out times for work and sleep and ask when he would like to be in charge of caregiving (feeding, napping, changing, clothing, comforting, entertaining, etc) for your child. Let him block out some times. (Use erasable pens 🤣) Step back and ask him if he thinks that's fair. He'll say yes, but give him a long uncomfortable pause. Repeat the question. (You think this...is fair?) Instruct him to try again. Negotiate until you can agree to a preliminary schedule and see how well he sticks to it. If you both know who is wearing the caregiving hat when, you won't have to ask every time. Hang the schedule on the wall so you can easily refer to what he has agreed to. And make sure shower time for both of you is on the schedule. 😀 If he really won't agree to something reasonable, you need to have a harder conversation about what it means to him to be a father and a husband, preferably in a counseling setting.

My close friend and I talk about this kind of stuff with men as fathers a lot lately. She and I are both single moms. But we do coparent with our children’s fathers. It seems to be a pattern that no matter how many children a man has he will always prioritize himself first and make sure that he is able to go to sleep at a good time, shower, workout daily, live his best life, etc. Despite the fact that he has a child/children. We as women constantly sacrifice and put ourselves on the back burner to put our children and the household first. I don’t know that there is a good way to fix this. I’m definitely not excusing anything and it is not OK. I agree with the first poster that simply put it as “men suck!“ Not trying to be a man hater. It just seems unfortunately, that this happens all too often. Maybe the only solution would be if you could talk to your partner and help him understand and train him to help more, be empathetic, and be less selfish… simply put, moms are superheroes. 🫂

Men are selfish

It’s no use trying to explain it to him. Unless he has the emotional capacity of a woman, (which it sounds like he doesn’t) he’s never gonna get it. You just need to speak up for your needs and tell him to get his ass in there and help if you need/want his help. Wish it weren’t this way… but it is…

So take that paragraph you just typed and put it into chat gpt or grok and tell it to explain based on this to my husband why he's a retard. And it usually does a fabulous job explaining.

A lot of men see it as woman's duties. Sit him down and make him aware of what your expectations are xx

If he doesn't change then show him the door