Sex with husband while separated

So last week I found out (by seeing things on his phone) that my husband of 2.5 years, dating almost 5, has been talking to other people the whole time we’ve been together. He swears he never met up with anyone ever, just was addicted to the talking (only things that would make me believe it is I activity searched for proof of meet up’s and found nothing, and how strange his brain and issues are). I’ve been saying I am done, but I think have decided to give it one more try, especially for our kids, pending months of him working on himself and staying true to the promises he has been making. Right now we are living apart for the foreseeable future. My dilemma is that I am in my second trimester with our second child, and my libido is through the roof😭 as much as I have negative feelings I’m still sorting through, I’ve always been able to compartmentalize sex and other feelings. But worried he cannot and don’t want to hurt his self progress or feelings, though he has offered sex that is just sex. Just looking for opinions!
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The fact that he even offered just sex as well shows he doesn’t care he hurt you. He still wants access to you and if you give in you already decided you’ll go back to him so giving him sex now will reinforce he can do whatever he wants to you and you will always be around. As women I believe we gotta stop this forgiving for the sake of the kids thing. If you’re gonna forgive him do it because you still love him and you 100% believe he can change. He cheated your entire relationship so I just have a bad feeling about giving into him and forgiving so easily.

I agree with above x

Forgiving for the sake of the kids does the opposite of what you are trying to do.

If you separate from him, he will have time for himself and do whatever he wants to do and never will get better and never will care for his kids or wont pay u proper child support. Single mom life is sooo though and challenging, it is full of tears and lonely nights. But if u stay with him, he might change. get couple counseling definitely. Push him in any way u can, so he gets his s*it together for his family. Those 2 kids aren't only yours, but if u leave him, they are all yours and all their responsibilities, which is a lot, specially if you aren't doing well financially. So sorry about what u going through;(

After his lack of valuing yourself, the least you should do is to give yourself to him like that. Buy yourself a vibrator and that’s it. Never sex again with him

Going through a very similar experience if u need to talk im here

Definitely Red flags with this whole situation I’m so sorry your pregnant and going thru this it’s the worst

What Bella said…

@Leyla wtf, your whole comment is trash….

Feeling sorry for her doesn't help her. She needs solutions from someone who has gone through similar situations so she can fix her life. And crying or messaging her, also doesn't solve her problems. Only talking, chatting with her or crying with her, doesn't solve her problem either. So yes, she has to think wisely, because in either situation, she will suffer. Choose the one, that he doesn't live a happy single life ;/ Men are too irresponsible, they make babies, then they become jerks

@Leyla He cheated the ENTIRE relationship it’s not rocket science to figure out he won’t change. He doesn’t love her no man who loves you will cheat the ENTIRE relationship. Therapy won’t change that.

I personally wouldn't have sex without living with and being in an exclusive relationship with the guy. I had someone give me STDs my first pregnancy and I heard that can be dangerous. Plus it wouldn't be worth it emotionally to me. Girl, just get a vibrator and focus on yourself and the baby.

Some women do stay, do you judge other women??? Do you judge other mothers? I didn't say, she has has to stay, But she has 2 kids and she can save up money then leave or a good plan.

Sounds like a bad idea

@Fel it definitely could’ve been said in a better, less projective manner however it was nothing insane. You could’ve been more constructive and helpful instead of using the word « trash » ..although frowned upon(as in it shouldn’t be this way) some men have actually done a complete 360 for their kids as I’ve seen it first-hand. A child shouldn’t be the sole reason a man matures however sometimes it is.

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@Dazier(Read Bio!😅) 🙄🙄🙄 they’re on their second child… if he wanted to change he would have already 🤡

@Fel « I’ve seen first hand »

@Fel you win tho cause ion wana keep going back and forth and you say something too crazy to me beloved..we can’t have that happen 💯 You’re entitled to your opinion beloved for sure🙂 Have a wonderful day💕

@Leyla you didn’t @ anyone so I’m wondering if this was directed at me? None of my comments judged anyone so I was just wondering who you were referring to. I just disagreed with encouraging her to stay in the situation but I’d never judge her if she chose it for herself. You never said she has to stay but it did seem like encouraging her to stay cuz being a single mom is hard.

I’m only responding cuz someone reported my comment and I’m unsure if it was u or someone else but I’m not being disrespectful or judging anyone so I’m confused lol

@Dazier(Read Bio!😅) 🤣 cause lord knows you couldn’t handle that right 😂

@Fel sure🙂

@Bella oh I didn't report you, and i wouldn't report anybody on this app ever. Every mom is exhausted and burnt out and I never take anything personally. Even if someone calls me names , I don't mind

@Fel it's not about changing him, yes you are right, there is no way to change. But she should be smart and get money or something from him before leaving his ungrateful bottom ;/ But honest to God single mom life is just hell ;(

@Leyla I know plenty of single mothers that don’t even work and are able to stay home with their kids. There are SO many assistance programs that help single mothers. If she isn’t happy with him she shouldn’t stay with him just to avoid being a single mother. That’s not even good advice.

@Fel the point of life is not just survival, it is to have a content and good life, those assistance are sooo little that no one can live a life, they just survive on a little bit of bread crumbs. I just left my abusive ex without getting money from him, now I work full-time and owe money to bank and to government and can't afford nothing in life. I'm getting better in life, but I wish I got something from him, he just got married for 3rd time to 25 years old and living his life ;/ I'm struggling over here with his child. he doesn't give a tiny rat a** about her 💔

@Leyla if he has time for himself and chooses to sleep around then he doesn't love her and want her and she deserves better. If a man is with you and wants to cheat he will find the time too. Keeping him under some close watch doesn't change that. If that's him caring for his wife and kids when she's give him her all then why should she wait for his version of better? He's shown his true colours already. Child support is a seperate issue and can be taken from his wages he doesn't have to agree. Single mom life can be tough but so is living with a man that doesn't love and respect you and setting a shitty example to the kids. I can guarantee that will bring many lonely and tearful nights. You can live with someone and still feel totally alone... she owes him nothing.

@Madison if his been talking to people the whole time and had the opportunity to act on something his not going to keep the evidence and just because you didn't find it doesn't mean it didn't happen. The second he opened his options up and showed other woman time/attention/sexual interest/connected with them he checked out of your relationship, he put his selfish sexual desires for other women first. He clearly got off to them, got excited to talk to them. It become part of his life by the sounds of it. He had no thought for you. He has so little respect for you and you being someone to come home to and his convenience and his showing you that by the "just sex" he had no intention of being a "husband" or partner in the deserved way. He's treating you like trash. Giving in to him sexually tells and shows him you accept that and you open yourself up to more hurt. I do hope your OK as can be but please don't let this man walk all over you anymore

@Leyla did i say they were “surviving” I literally just said they can stay home with their kids. You’re wanting her to pretty much have to depend on someone just because she has kids. Once again, it’s possible to get back on your feet and have a normal happy life without having to stay with a serial cheater, but if you don’t think you’re better than that then that’s on you, just don’t try to spread the low self worth. She can very well get assistance in moving on then be set and happy with her kids.

Yaw love speaking for men for whatever reason.. « if he does this he feels like this toward you » « it means this/ jt means that » « men cheat because… » « it means he checked out » Whole time it has little to do with his actual feelings toward the woman and more of himself..where he is in his own life..the respect he has for himself..if he loves himself..how financially comfortable he is..it’s all a reflection of himself..you can def Iove someone and still cheat on them because youreeeeeee too immature and not ready Not saying any of this is morally right however it’s logically right Just tell the lady she should leave and where to find support without speaking for men cause no Man told yaw any of this as reasons they cheat. If yaw wana borrow my dad or grandad for some guidance you def can.

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Also..Stop assuming people have no self worth because they view the situation different and don’t see it the way you do. You will definitely still continue to breathe by respectfully aggreeing to disagree. I’m really tired of seeing her say mean shi to people under this post She doesn’t have to be spreading low self worth Some people are able to separate their romantic feelings from someone to handle business..especially when they’re fed up enough. They don’t feel drained or depressed because they use it as a time to work on them selves Some people are purely selfish and can « cut of their feelings » just to capitalize off a situation without being emotionally drained from it Again…just cause something isn’t morally correct doesn’t mean it’s impossible Don’t even reply to me if it’s not anything nice it’s very easy to say « I don’t agree with what you are saying, however you’re entitled to your opinion »

@Fel you didn't even read my other comments, and this is her life,I'm not saying she should stay, I'm saying she has to get money or smth from him, before she leaves him, because he cheated on her ,he has to pay back. Before he continues on with his single child free new life ;/ And yes unfortunately there are women who does put up with these kinds of behaviors from Men, Because I did, I wasn't brave enough. And when I left him, I lost so much money Now he is happy married to his new wife, keeping the money that we saved up together. I have no proof that, he has my money .and this is my regret. If I was a little more patient and smart ,I could get that money and then leave him.

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