Father’s Day

How old is your kids? Can you take them to the shops and let them choose some stuff from them? But tbh I never recieved or given anything for either of the days when I was pregnant I just waited until my first was here then from then I’ve been doing both. But if he’s a father to your other kids or even there for them I would take them out to get him something if it was me

I should probably add.. he has showered me with gifts since the week before Mother’s Day up until now. Just not Mother’s Day. Which is weird imo lol. • I had emergency surgery and he got me beautiful rose gold rosary beads and a necklace while i was in the hospital • he bought me a full service fine china set • he showed up at the nail salon yesterday with a dozen roses He’s great, I’m just not sure why Mother’s Day was a dud.

@Rose yeah I’m not sure because my kids of course got me something (their own dad took them) and my bonus daughter (17 husbands daughter) actually used her own money to buy me something. He just didn’t do anything…. He is there for my kids, loves them but there is a very clear mutual understanding he is not their father. Their father is very much a part of their lives. I got all of the kids something to give to him last year (gift card to Home Depot) and my kids felt very weird about it… like they were denying their own dad or something.

You should’ve added all that extra stuff to the original post! You should absolutely do something for him

@Victoria~ I agree, jeez women, he's done loads for you, and the week leading up to mothers Day, what more do you want? Absolutely, you should get him something special for fathers Day and show how much of a good father he is to your kids

Get that man his Father’s Day gift. Especially if he has been showering you with gifts leading up to it. If it’s your first child together you both deserve to experience all that you can. I’d also talk to him about how you felt, but imo if my man showered me with gifts leading up I’d be fine with not getting something in the actual day. This man is showing up for you and the kids the least you can do is spoil him back. He’s worked hard for appreciation in my eyes

I’d take that moment for your other kids as a teaching moment. He may not be their bio dad but he’s def a bonus dad and they should appreciate all that he does for them. Understanding that it’s okie to have two dads it doesn’t mean you’re denying one or the other you just have twice the love

I’m sorry. It’s not about wanting more. Or wanting anything at all. It’s about because his mom didn’t want to do anything or want anything he felt that was the say all and be all. He didn’t ask me once for my opinion on the day. I guess i just thought it’d be different.

@Becky he’s not the father to my children. Just the new one in my belly cooking 🙂

Then discuss that with him and tell him how you felt he didn’t discuss it with you

Communication is important. If he has upset you, communicate with him. He’s not a mind reader. If you get him pizza, you are sending the message that you are happy with this, and he will continue on as he has because he doesn’t know you’re upset about it. Life is too short to play games. Communicate and be assertive.

He literally showered you with gifts right before Mother’s Day…. Stop being petty and get that man a gift. You got everything and more the week prior and you still expected something on the day of ? Smdh thats greed

Would he want to do anything if the baby isn’t born yet despite being a bonus dad?

I said in the original post “I’m okay with it because we had a lot going on and he completely showed up and was my rock” This has nothing to do with extravagant gifts and if it came off that way it wasn’t my intention. My concern is that day’s decisions were based solely off his mother’s feelings and considering we just found out I was expecting a couple days before i thought it’d be different. Less of a regular day and more of a we have been trying to conceive for over a year I’m so excited it’s finally happening and not letting his mother hinder that. I don’t want to look like an ass doing something sentimental for him and making him feel bad he didn’t. I also in a years time when baby is here want his mother again making all of the decisions for Mother’s Day. She got a gift last year too, told him she didn’t want it. Reminded him this year she didn’t want anything or to do anything (out to dinner) so he didn’t do anything for anyone that he normally does (his sisters, my mom)

I voted before I saw the comments. Definitely get him something, he sounds great and I don’t think you need to be petty over one day

@Karen yes the last few years we have always exchanged something small and usually went out to dinner his mom and mine included . He is a great dad to his daughter and great to my kids so I’ve always made sure he felt appreciated that day. He always did the same Mother’s Day with his sisters, me, my mom, his mom, every woman in his family that’s a mother. His mom is less than enthralled about new baby, and magically this year she didn’t want to partake in anything and sulked around.. so he listened and followed it through with everyone. Didn’t even ask my opinion on the day. You don’t need gifts to feel appreciated. That’s not what I’m getting at. What I’m *concerned* with is his mother’s control over him when it comes to important dates. Is this foreshadowing my future? Lol probably. 🫣

Honestly, you sound ungrateful and immature. If you have a concern or problem, open your mouth and tell your man this. He can't address anything if you didn't tell him.

I know he isn't your childs father, but he sounds like he's a good guy, and he's clearly someone that's present and there in your kids lives also you said last year he bought you a diamond necklace from your kids, which shows he's a thoughtful guy

Yeah that can be annoying, maybe bake a cake and that can be his gift. If he is able to spend time with the family then I think that’s a good gift too. I remember my dad never really caring for these things and often being at work. I will probably do a cake for my husband and father-in-law and send something small for my dad as my parents live out of town. Doesn’t always have to be something grand. Something small I think is nice . Try not to overthink it my dear.

I would definitely talk to him about it and how you're feeling. Maybe there's a reason or he's thinking about it in a different way and you're about to get the apology of a lifetime, ya know?

In general, I think you should get your partner something for Father’s Day even if you don’t get anything for Mother’s day. If you have an issue with Mother’s Day then you speak about that with your partner. Being petty because you didn’t get want you wanted out of Mother’s Day is childish.

I'd just let him know how you feel and just explain its not about the gifts, it's about the fact that what his mum wanted bled into your relationship. Explain you are 2 different people and what she wants you might not and vice versa. Express that you appreciate everything he has done for you and for the Dad he is to your kids (I know they aren't biologically his). Then I'd spoil him for Fathers Day!

I would just be open and honest with him about how that made you feel. Just because he isn't the biological father of your kids, doesn't mean he should have solely based his decision on what his mom wanted to do on Mother's Day. You are continuing his line of life and he should have taken your feelings into consideration that day.