I feel cursed. I’m always alone. Single mom. No family or friends. I pray for friends and a spouse. I try my best to do what I believe the Lord is calling me to do but it just seems so unfair everyone has atleast one person they can call

I recommend relearning how to love yourself genuinely, enjoying that peace and happiness with you and your kids. Gratitude then the rest will fall into place.

Very true! But, The thing is I love being alone. I enjoy my own company and being with my kids. However, after a few years of this, I can’t lie it’s breaking my heart to see mostly everyone have atleast one person they can call on.

The issue isn’t what you’re doing or not doing. But are you hearing God? Is it your season to have a spouse? Have you taken the necessary steps to build a community? This isn’t to blame you. But to push you to ask the right questions. It’s awesome that you pray but what is God saying? If you think you’re hearing God maybe this season is for you to learn His voice on a deeper level and sharpen your discernment. Are you also part of a local church? This would be the best way to build community as well. Also, did you check to see if this isn’t spiritual warfare? There are sometimes spiritual attacks where the enemy blinds those around you that causes people to bypass you and not see you. Hope that makes sense! Cause from what you’re saying, it sounds like you’re battling the spirit of rejection.

@✨Wis 🇭🇹 hey Wis! I do think it’s some sort of spiritual warfare because I have tried my best to make friends even at church. And everytime I make a friend, they suddenly stop talking to me. People only seem to reach out to me when they want advice (I’m good at that) then go ghost I do spend so much time in the Lords presence and in my word. I fast regularly to hear his voice I’m doing my best to be patient. I prayed so many prayers against rejection, orphan spirit, offense … etc anything that I believe could be keeping me in this long period of isolation. I feel like I’m doing something wrong 😑

I understand. Loneliness even for those who enjoy it isn’t nice all the time. Personally when I feel like I’ve hit a very tough spot for a while I fast and get deeper into scripture to get out of what’s keeping me down.

I am learning that good friendships take intentionality. And it's very hard to create those kinds of relationships in our time/culture because independence is so highly valued and it takes vulnerability to ask for help. However, the only way to truly know if you can call on people is to try. Do you have anyone's phone number? If so, you might have someone you can call on that would come through for you but you just never tried so you don't realize it. Ask God to bring someone from your contact list to mind, make the first move and see what happens. And if you truly feel that no one on your contact list is trustworthy, it may be time to put yourself in some new social circles. A side note from my personal experience: even though I often reach out to ask for prayer/help from my friends, not many of them do the same. I've been convicted recently that I need to ask them what they need more often so that the relationship doesn't become one sided.

I totally understand. It’s a season. At this point I think you should ask God to shoe you hear you’re not seeing and to reveal to you why you’re in this place. what is it that God is working in you. Cause it sounds like you’re going through some pruning and refining. What if Yahweh is working on some things in you during this season? Instead of getting frustrated and cursing your own self (by saying maybe you’re cursed) let God do the work He needs to in you, until you are fully satisfied in Him and not so affected while still staying human. Does that make sense?

Same...but not the cursed lol

Thank you ladies, I will continue to go deeper in prayer about this and see what the Lord reveals 💖

& I shouldn’t have used the word cursed, because although lonely I’m very blessed lol @Jamila yes, I do have contacts. I have tried to extend myself on multiple occasions offering to go out to lunch and checking on ppl who come to me for advice. I just sometimes feel like ppls free therapist that they forget about until they need advice again 😑 this is with both family and friends

I can relate in some parts of your post. I think the best thing you can do is keep going back to god with how you feel and what you want. Sometimes what we want isn’t gods will. Keep trusting him because what he has for you is better then what you think you want.

Msg me I’ll be your friend ❤️

Ah ok, I took what you said about not having family or friends at face value. I'm so sorry if it came across snarky; that was definitely not my intention! I have some more thoughts but I also realize how hard it is to speak meaningfully into another's situation without having a deeper understanding of the context. Feel free to message me if you want to talk more! I think I've been the person on the other side of your situation a lot, so I'd be happy to share some perspective if it helps :)

I have gone through seasons of intense loneliness, and something that has helped me emerged twice (once in college, once after depression/post-miscarriage) was being generous with others without expecting anything in return. Are you on your church group’s meal train email list? Or park day list? Bring a postpartum mama a meal, generously invite others into your home for coffee or dinner or a play date. Instead of giving with your words (advice) give with your actions. Just invite invite invite without expecting a return invitation. Set expectations on returns low, and focus on extending connection. The ones who are meant for you, will connect. It’s hard work but with time generosity is rewarded. This is how I’ve built friendships and community. Imo it takes 1-2yrs.

This sounds like you're talking about me... 👋