I need your opinion

Once you have a family, all money should be joint....

I agree with the above ^ you’re a family there no my money your money anymore! My husband sends me 99% of his wage every month then between his wage and my wage I break it into bills and savings if either of us want or need anything more than the money we both individually keep to ourselves every month it comes out of my savings . (My husband isn’t the best of keeping track of money that’s why everything goes into my account then I’m ’in charge’ so to speak to make sure we have enough money for everything we need aswell as saving) As for the time side of things my husband works nights so he’s in bed until 1pm everyday and goes work at 5pm but during that time he pretty much spends the entire time with me and Milo if Milo’s at nursery he’s either helping me around the house or ‘gaming’ which really doesn’t bother me after all he does do 40 hours a week at work . I work nights at the weekend (16hrs) and he looks after Milo so everything’s pretty split

Gosh if money was joint I wouldn’t know what to do 😂 we aren’t married so money has always been separate, he has £35,000 in his savings 💀🙈 so is on about buying a new car

That is crazy! Our moneys been joint since about 4/5 months after we first got together years ago. I had ALOT of money saved before I met my husband but soon as the relationship got serious I told my husband about it and we both agreed not to touch it unless we needed and it’d be saved for when we’re ready to buy a house.. 5 years later and we’ve just brought a house in both of our names purely from the money I saved before our relationship he didn’t put a penny towards the purchase but I didn’t give it even a seconds thought. You’re a family you clearly live together it’s not right that he’s hid it from you and now spending it for himself

We’ve been together 11 years have a mortgage together and a car each we have both paid for out of our money

However if we put our money together it would be a lot easier for me to go on days out and out with friend etc without having to worry about what money I have

He’s been keeping savings from you for 11 YEARS! I was expecting you to say you’d only been together a couple years! This is the craziest thing I’ve heard all day

Agree... For us, we each keep same amount of money each month as our spending money/a little into our own savings pot, rest goes together and we pay, spend and save for everything together. We still talk to each other about spending anything more than 100-150 quid, even though neither of us cares, as we're not wasteful You guys need a money talk, future talk etc

With regards to splitting the jobs/feeling appreciated for what you do, I def think that’s a conversation to have with him. It might well work out fair for you to do what you do (as he works more), but you still should feel appreciated, because you’re doing a ‘job’ too! Or equally you could divide up some jobs a little more. Or probably both angles. Regarding the money, I would def say in my opinion it should be split/shared. You could have a joint account, or he could just send you money (this is what my partner does). Either way, there’s no version how, 11 years in, a mortgage, and a child, that he shouldn’t be sharing that money with you. And that’s wild that he’s not 🤣

I currently earn about £1,000 a month, my partner earns about £2,000 a month. And I’m about to go on Mat leave for our second child. His view has always been that, if I’m taking a financial cut by not working/working less/being on Maternity etc, in order to have our children (‘our children’; being a joint decision), then he becomes solely responsible for funding what we (all 4) need in order to exist 🤷🏻‍♀️

I did 2 years out of work and he funded that so he was kind with that however no I’m back he expects me to pay my share despite being on so much less, I’m having a lot of mixed emotions recently and it has been very difficult to navigate

Now*

He is spending a lot of time out of the house and I feel I handle everything whilst he’s gone, he’s working 48 hours a week, been to football two nights this week and now he’s getting his hair cut, it’s almost 6pm and he’s still not home so I have made tea for my son and will be doing the bedtime routine if he’s not home

I couldn’t imagine this, not fair on you at all. Your money should be shared. So the joint income of your family should be £3800 not you living off barely anything and having to contribute money towards the bills?! How can he sit back and be happy to watch you survive off little and be the default parent for your son? My husband pays the mortgage and the majority of the bills and doesn’t class it as his money, but ours. I work part time and my little earnings I also class as his as well as mine. I understand you aren’t married yet but you have a child together, you aren’t just boyfriend and girlfriend

We’ve had joint account since baby was born, so all money is ours. He also earns more than I do, so used to contribute more to bills when we still had it separate. At the same time that doesn’t mean I now get to spend “his” money, as we also save, watch the big purchases etc. together.

My husband and I have a joint account and put in the same amount for bills/mortgage. Whatever is left of our wages goes into our personal accounts. We always discuss with each other before making big purchases. My husband earns more than me and works 5 days a week. I work 2 days and have my son the rest so housework/childcare tends to be more my job as I'm home more but hubby always helps out on weekends and we take it in turns to cook/do bedtime routine each night. It's definitely a conversation you need to have if you're not feeling appreciated! You're working full time too, looking after a little one is hard work! X

Me and my partner earn round about the same (2.2/3k) so we pay the same in bills but if one of us struggles financially then the other will pay more. My partners always said it’s our money and has paid more to cover me. I would 10000000% be having a chat with your partner x

We have a joint account and pay a percentage of wage in so it's fairer eg 70% each then keep 30% each to ourselves to do as we please. However we do help eachother out of unexpected expenses come up. Our scenario is different though as he both work full time, one of us does nursery pickup and the other does drop off and we go out similar amounts. Id say if you are picking up more with your child and with you not able to work as much he should help more with the finances. I would save your day off for housework aswell rather than trying to squeeze more work in. Between you there is already plenty of money to live off.

I’m waiting to see how it goes going forward, the last two days he’s bought me and him two takeaways and took us out to Morpeth and paid for coffee and my food. I have my car insurance next month so it will be interesting to see if he expects me to use my savings for that or if he’d offer to pay for it

I only went back to work in March after two years off so it’s all very fresh me earning a wage as well as him again