Break up with baby daddy
I’m lowkey panicking that I’m about to make this decision. Me and my baby’s father were supposed to move in together soon, we already signed a lease and all. But we have gotten into intense arguments, with one including him holding baby and yelling while she was crying in his arms and refusing to put her down. And now more fights including name calling and us judging each other’s parenting left and right. There’s been domestic violence in the past but the last incident was about a year ago and things got better since, but there’s always that thought of the “what if this happens again.” Even now I just feel bad for my baby girl because we’ll be going back and forth and she either gets woken up or fussy if she’s up. I can tell she feels the stress and tension and I just can’t pretend this time like we’re this perfect couple who just occasionally argue. The way we argue isn’t healthy or normal and I really don’t want my baby girl to think it is for her future relationships. Problem is I don’t even know how I’m gonna afford rent without his help if I decide to live on my own and his mom is helping with childcare right now so what happens if I walk away from this relationship and then I won’t even have someone to watch her while I work. I want to leave so bad because I just know he’s not my person. I’ve known it for years and we’ve tried to combat it by suggesting therapy, trying to change our communication, and making it a point to date more so we argue less, but everywhere we turn there’s a new problem that arises that shows just how broken this relationship has always been. But our families are intertwined and I even hear his mom pressuring him to propose even though I really don’t want to be married to him anytime soon, so it feels like my whole world will come crumbling down if I part ways now, and most importantly, my girl won’t have both her parents in the household and that hurts me for her. I always made it a goal for myself to marry before kids for this very reason but accidents happen, but thankfully I don’t regret it because I love this girl so much. What do I do??
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Coming from a single mama, it’s better to raise a child in a happy one-parent home than a toxic two-parent one. I also dealt with the same when I was growing up and unfortunately your daughter will see these things as she gets older and it can definitely negatively affect her mental health. In my opinion, if you’re still afraid that a domestic violence incident could happen again, I wouldn’t risk it. Especially not with my child involved. If you ever need someone to talk to, I’d be more than happy to listen. No judgement 🫶🏻
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Just remember children are affected more by a toxic homes then a single one. And I would try to talk to hismom and let her know that you are not happy and you want to create a better environment for your child. And if she’s a good mother, she would understand and she would still help because that is still her grandchild. If I were you I would leave.