Is it normal that I get pissed off that my baby daddy goes out clubbing

To make it worse he even stays out til the clubs close and then complains he’s too tired to help me with baby like bfr 😑

What would be the point of clubbing is you have a family at home? Also odd to me that he doesnt WANT to be home with yall

Why make and have a family when you're not involved?
Why are you clubbing without your partner?
Why is this a one side parentship?
Why dont you go out weekends?

If my husband has a friends birthday or bachelor party/ special event I always encourage him to go, but just a night out he knows better than to ask me😂 I let him golf 1-2 times a week so he knows not to push his limits lmao. Your husband working crazy hours I can understand him being exhausted but then he should be too exhausted to go clubbing.

May I ask how old he is?

I would also like to know. I’m breastfeeding so not as easy to you out however I do pump but there’s no one to look after baby atm. I’ve suggested going out all three of us and he agrees and then on the day he’s “too tired” & wants to spend his only free days chilling 😑😑😑

were both 26

I go clubbing. But I don’t stay until it closes geez that’s 4am lol I get home at 12-1am but I’m a sahm who’s w the baby 12-14hrs a day so I look forward to the weekends to see gfs or drop by the club which these days I go to Latin night’s that play salsa/bachata Reggaeton I can actually dance there and not go to only drink/pickup like the clubs I used to go to. But your problem is he works long hours then brings work home and THEN he goes clubbing on weekends which, when you add that all up you guys barely ever see him! I don’t blame you for being annoyed. I’d tell you to invite a gf and go clubbing next week but that’s not really feasible for you until you stop BF anyway which may be awhile yet and it may not even be your vibe. If you haven’t had a day/night out for months though then I would try to plan that asap and let him know, he has to stay home at this time on this day for you to go out a couple hrs. But then that doesn’t solve the problem of him overworking (voluntarily)😏

For me the clubbing is not the issue it’s more how often he’s doing it. Apart from anything can he afford it and have a family especially if it’s weekly. One of the reasons my oh cut down on going out although he was meeting friends at a pub/bar. Then there is how useful he is the next day.
Is there a reason he’s working so much?

Did he go clubbing like this prior to becoming a father?

Sounds like he just wants to enjoy his 20s, which is fair, but he made the decision to become a dad & he really needs to get his priorities in order. That stuff might be okay when your kid is in elementary school or older, but not now when they’re a baby & all of the weight is on YOUR shoulders.

useless the next day as he drinks and smokes. He has enough money to do it weekly as he doesn’t really contribute to regular baby / household finances. Literally just pays rent and gives money if I’m really struggling with maternity pay but that’s a whole other issue 🥲

He’s never liked clubbing so he says but would go for special events or birthdays etc. l thought this too & we’ve spoken about having to sacrifice certain things whilst we have a baby but it feels like I’m the only one sacrificing and he gets to do whatever he wants

What did he say when you expressed that he needs to sacrifice as well? And why is he all the sudden into clubbing?

You guys don't sound like you're a partnership or team at all. I don't mean this to sound harsh but he has had a baby and he's contributing nothing to the situation. When you are on maternity most couples pool finances and share the financial responsibility for the child you jointly make. I agree with others who say going out isn't the issue- I actually went out more than my husband after our baby (once breastfeeding allowed for it) as im a bit more sociable, but it was a dinner occasionally or a couple of drinks or a spa afternoon. Working a 13hour day then bringing work home (when?!) Then going out socially to an event that makes you tired the next day is outrageously unfair in my opinion and shows he has minimal interest in acting as a family, helping raise your child or making memories together. I don't understand what he thinks being a parent is tbh. Unless he's one of these selfish men who think that you being on mat leave means he doesn't have to do anything at all.

Oops, meant to click justified

he says he is making sacrifices they’re just different to mine 🤨& they’ve all been work events … but I don’t understand why he has to go to every single one and neglect our family. He literally went out last night and didn’t come back til 5am woke up the baby so I was obviously pissed off and instead of staying to help me he went back out for an hour to smoke with his work friends. When he did come home again he said “I don’t want to argue with you” as if I’m creating problems

I didn’t understand the poll choices i clicked “no this is crazy” = his behaviour is crazy! He sounds very immature and is not thinking about you or the needs of his new family. This is the time to support you post partum and bond as a family and he’s not doing either x

I would kill him

It sounds like you need to leave him and see the sacrifies he'll actually do, IF he ever does any. It doesnt seems like you guys matter to him, doesnt give any attention to you guys. He prefers his work friends

Accidentally voted no this is crazy but I meant it’s crazy that he’s doing this not that you’re crazy for feeling this way!