Canceling my daughters birthday party

Honestly, no. I personally won’t do that to my boys. Birthdays are one time out of the year.

My older brother did that to one of his daughters and canceled her birthday party due to her misbehaving . Look what happened now? Still the same and even worse..

No. They need consequences after the party though. I would research some strategies and implement them and let them know why you’re becoming more strict and firm with them.

I’d give them one more chance or else I’m canceling the party, and if they cut up, I’d cancel the party. They were warned.

I’ve warned them and that’s the issue they keep on with the same behavior and if I don’t actually follow through with my word I think they will never take me seriously

Then I’d cancel it.

Edit: Don’t cancel if you’ve already sent the invitations. I didn’t see that part. They’ll have to hear about that at school if you do that.

Consequences need to be linked to behavior for children to learn. A canceled party is revenge from the parents, and the children will just focus on how unfair their parents are and not on the misbehavior that they do.
When they misbehave is because a need is not met. Maybe they need more autonomy, or maybe they need more alone time with their parents, or maybe is something else. It's up to us to find out and give them what they need.

Don’t cancel their birthdays what the hell?? That’s heartless. You should just be following through on small individual consequences every single day.

They don’t learn anything from a cancelled party. So let’s workshop this: what are the specific behaviors that keep happening?

If you hadn’t sent the invites, I’d say yes. But you don’t want to punish all the attendees. I would use another special occasion to send a message to them

How about having the party but they don't get their presents till they deserve it?

Or they can't be at each other's party bc they don't know how to behave around each other?

opening presents on how they behave sounds like a good idea, however we celebrate their bday’s together because they are only a few days apart from each other’s.

Cancelling their party is only going to make their behaviour worse as they’ve nothing to look forward to. The punishment for their behaviour needs to be that day ideally. That said one of the punishments I gave my 8 year old was taking the iPad away for over a week but that was for something serious and she knew she couldn’t have play dates for a while.

Honestly canceling the party will make this behavior worse no?? Plus you bought everything and sent out invites already it seems like a waste of money

It’s not necessarily a natural consequence of daily misbehavior so I wouldn’t; they’re both still fairly young so these are some of their earliest memories. It wouldn’t teach them much, and could begin some resentment. It sounds like you’re trying everything under the sun though, eventually something will stick❤️

Don’t cancel it, that will be a core memory for them of how their cruel mother cancelled their birthday party and will be a topic of discussion when they later have therapy over their dysfunctional childhood.

When they are being rude and disrespectful, what are their consequences for this?

The problem you’ll find is, if you’ve been slack for the past 7-8 years in disciplining them/consequences whilst raising them, you’re going to face double the resistance to get them to listen and change their behaviour because they’ve got away with it for so long. This is where you need to draw on all your strength and patience and stick to a plan and not go back on your word.

Don’t cancel the party, but control the presents…

Give them a huge warning and if you give that as punishment then stick to it. If you got a gift tell them you'll return them if their behavior continues and if it does, return it and make sure they know what it was.

Find out where their behavior is coming from first. Do they watch tiktok? YouTube? Is it friends? Has something happened to them?

If you've told them that the birthday party will be cancelled if they keep misbehaving, then definitely cancel it. There are lots of comments on here about how cancelling it would be "cruel". But the greater cruelty is failing to discipline your children - the greatest kindness you can do them is showing them (before the world shows them) that actions have consequences. There will be many more birthday parties.

I saw the “auction method” worked pretty well for fights.. when they start fighting over something say “the auction starts at 5 minutes of bedroom clean up” and then one says “I’ll do it plus I’ll put the silverware away!” Then the next one says “I’ll clean for 5 minutes, put the silverware away, and fold all the clean towels” and so on until one of them gives up and doesn’t want the thing or you say SOLD. It teaches them to look at things with more perspective like.. is this REALLY worth fighting over? How bad do I want this? Plus you get some help lol

This will scar them. Disciplining by taking away birthdays or Christmas, etc., only teaches kids to hate you. I think it’s a bit too far. You can manage the amount of presents they get or when they get them but they should celebrate their birthdays with their friends and family. Lessons and discipline can be taught at different time.

I agree with others to don't cancel it but also, have a chat before the party, explain that you thought of cancelling it be didn't even though they misbehaved, and you expect no fighting, and from now on, as they are older, you expect to see improvement in their behaviour. Also, they won't be allow to open all presents until you see this improvement

Cancel, keep gifts for Christmas. If they don't stop acting up then gifts for following bdays. Consequences now or you'll have a 17 and 18yr old nightmares

I mean really you shouldn’t have used that as a threat if you weren’t going to follow through because you’re just reinforcing the message that you don’t mean what you say. You’ve left yourself nowhere to go. If you threaten to cancel the party and don’t then they know you arnt serious about your punishment and they can get away with it because you’ll buckle under pressure. Really your mistake was even making that threat in the first place.

But also I don’t think you should cancel it, they’re kids they deserve a party, you’d lead them to so much public humiliation if you cancelled it too.