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Toddler & Mom Support

I’m mentally exhausted.

Sometimes when I realize I’ve actually been doing my job as a mom is when I start thinking about “ what if I slightly tossed a pillow at my child’s face to make her leave me alone for 5 MINUTES “ after she asks me the same question 15 times & I answered it all 15 times.

But I don’t.

I suck it up & I answer the same question another 15 times & if I know that is overwhelming me, I tell their dad he’s on the clock for the next hour & I walk out to the backyard for some peace & quiet.

& then I get a sudden reminder that my partner is the WORST person to rely on with the kids when I need a break because here they come opening the backyard door like “ mommy can we come outside too??? “

& then it hits me. I have the right to protect my peace

So once my me time gets interrupted, I get offended & talk to my kids for the next 30 seconds like I’m not their mom.

“ No. I don’t want you to come outside. I need time for myself to remember who I am, because I’m not just your mother or your dad’s wife, I’m a human being with feelings that build up & when I’ve had to answer the same question you asked me 30 TIMES, I need you to leave me alone for 15 minutes. So no you can’t come outside right now. go read a book “

& just like that, my kids see ME as the angry, bad parent. Because I have to tell my kids myself that I need to get away from them for 15 MINUTES all bc my husband (just like some dads) want to be the child’s friend.

Man I HATE being a stay at home mom to toddlers. It was easier when they were babies. I was less angry & overwhelmed when I had a job that could give me a feeling of being needed by actual adults & not 5 year olds. Being able to hear Tik Tok by Kesha on the store radio instead of the same Bluey/Dora.

I’m not trying to sound ungrateful or like I hate my life. I’ve just decided I’m easier to get overwhelmed when I’m locked in a house day in day out with toddler who don’t understand boundaries, no matter how much I try to explain it.