Sister in law speaks own language to husband

Id buy some translation ear phones off tik tok shop(thats where i got mine £6) and not say anything and randomly join in the conversation 😂

I clicked yes rude by accident THIS IS NOT RUDE

If she's speaks English and knows you don't speak the language then she should speak in English around you. It can feel very uncomfortable when people do that

It's 100% rude. It's like whispering in mixed company.

I don’t think so. They grew up speaking their native tongue to each other so that’s just what they’re used to. We’re bilingual too some of us are tri. MIL speaks Viet because that’s what she’s used to although she can understand English she just chooses to speak Viet. She can speak Khmer (cambo) too although hubby didn’t grow up w that but sometimes she’ll be on the phone to her friends speaking Khmer me and hubby don’t understand a word lol

I think in this context it is quite rude. Only caveat is if she speaks their native language most of the time in other situations as well. Like just because she Can speak English doesn’t mean she’s super comfortable with it and might just prefer the other? But if that’s not the case then yeah pretty rude and I’d say something

It’s their home language if he’s responding in English and she continued to speak it obviously it’s not a “private or rude conversation” unless every time he switches to English it’s don’t say that about my wife… have you tried to learn their language. Have you talked about teaching your kids his home language I just feel like it’s very American (not saying you are) to be like we speak English here cuz most of the world indeed does speak multiple languages. Or maybe it’s just cuz I grew up hearing many different languages spoken in my friends homes. I never once was like upset at my German Chinese Nigerian Ethiopian Mexican Russian friends for speaking their home language. But once again I grew up with being around other cultures heavily.

I think she does it to make a point, that you should learn to speak their language. Obviously learning a new language is hard and time consuming but… wouldn’t you do it if you love the person?
Also she probably doesn’t like you.
Yes it’s rude but also no it’s not.

I'm British, I'm learning their language as best I can on Duolingo and we're raising our son bilingual. She behaves as if she likes me except for this.

What language do they speak? I feel that matters lmao

Mmmm. So idk ima just say, as a Latina? Its rude. It's one thing if she did it with a bunch of people but if it's just with the 3 of you, it blatantly leaves you out of conversation. If she's not comfortable speaking English then ok. I'd ask your husband to just gentle reminder/encourage her to speak English around you. Also learning a new language as an adult is hard. It helps if you can go to a Spanish speaking country for a few weeks at a time

its lowkey rude but at the same time it's probably habit.. i always speak to my dad in french even tho his gf only understands english but it's mostly just habit. kinda feels weird talking to him in english cause i grew up talking to him in french

It's probably a good thing as your child will pick it up. I keep telling mine to speak Romanian to ours but we always speaks English. His fam came the other week and they mostly spoke Romanian. I like it as she'll learn. But then my ex was French and and I used to live there so I'm kinda used to it

okay so my partners first language is spanish and everyone in his house speaks spanish, even when im there, they honestly just forget to speak in english when im there because it’s not their first language and they don’t ever talk to each other in english, i don’t think it’s rude or like they are hiding anything, it’s just not something they ever do.

When I'm in the house with multiple people and they're speaking their language then it doesn't bother me as I'm heavily outnumbered and wouldn't expect them to alter their language for me. I feel it's different when there's just three of you though

i see what you mean, when it’s my boyfriend, his mom or grandma and me, they speak spanish to each other, when it’s my boyfriend, me and his sister, we all speak english so ig it depends on the person? idk personally i don’t think it’s weird but i definitely see what you mean

It's normal for people to speak in the language that they grew up speaking and are most comfortable with. You should just learn their language. Being around a language is the best way to do that.

If she was only speaking to him not rude but in a convo with the 3 of u I’d find it rude

I love that someone said this is American of them while no one was American on the post.

It’s incognito hence why I said not saying you are American. 🤣🤣

You should try to learn the language too especially since you want the baby to be bilingual.

completely agree

Every single bilingual family I know speak their mother tongue at home with their parents / siblings it’s not rude it’s what they are used to.
And if she knows u r learning maybe she is trying to help u out exposure is a much quicker way to learn than apps. Maybe try speaking the little u have picked up and see how she responds.
I think she probably just feels strange talking to her brother in a different language

I think it’s really rude to be honest and I’d speak to your husband to try and understand why she/they do that.

I really hate when they do this. I do not speak my husband’s language either and the last time we visited his aunt they kept talking in their native language knowing I do not understand it. I told my husband I’m not going back and how rude it was. He didn’t understand how it was rude. He’s from India and speaks Hindi, Punjabi and Urdu.

Tbh I'd probably ask my husband how he feels about it and prioritise what he thinks- I can't imagine what it must be like to live your life in a language that's different to the one you grew up speaking, maybe it's nice for him to talk in/hear his own language sometimes. And I think however fluent you are in a language you can't quite express yourself in the same way, or as quickly. Maybe she wants to talk to your husband without having to think about our weird grammar rules and stuff. However I definitely understand if you spend a lot of time with her that you must start to feel left out, does she make an effort to get to know you? It's great that you're learning the language but obviously it may be quite a while before you'll be able to keep up with what they say, does she know you're learning?

Regardless of whether or not she should learn the language, she doesn’t know it right now. It’s SO RUDE

Its choice to make someone in the room not understand.

Would you not sign if someone was deaf and you knew? Hell no.

My sister in law speaks to my partner in English in my presence.