Would you consider this as gaslighting someone?
For some reason my husband has been in a right mood over the last 3 nights and I’ve tried asking why and he said his fine. His been very snappy with me and acting as if am bothering him if I even looked at him. Last night I ask him to put a load of washing on. He loaded up the washing machine and I assume he turned it on. I’m stood in the kitchen across from the washing machine and 5 mins goes by and i thought it was a bit strange i haven’t heard the washing machine going at all. I look up and I can see the little screen from where I’m stood. And all I said was “babe did you turn the washing machine now?” And he started getting so defensive over that one question and saying “yes I did” and then start accusing me of gaslighting him!!! I was trying to explain him that sometimes if you do the setting but don’t press the start bottom… those line show up after a few minutes because I’ve experienced it many times where I would put a load on but LO would want my attention and I would get distracted and forget to press the start bottom and those like would show up a few minutes later. But he won’t let me get a single word in to explain any of this and saying that I was gaslighting him. I was completely taken back and shocked that out of something innocent, he was accusing me of gaslighting him. He won’t listen to anything I had to say or even explain the situation about the washing machine so I had to just walk away from the conversation because it was late and he was raising his voice. We haven’t spoke since last night and I don’t know how to feel about any of this.
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Yeah that’s such a weird thing to get defensive about and to accuse you of gaslighting is weird. It’s definitely giving projection… i wonder what he did to feel so defensive! Cuz surely this can’t be over just laundry
Gas lighting would be like if he asked you to start it but you said you were busy and told him to do it and then asked him did you start it? and he was like no I’m sorry I forgot honey but then you went on saying (this is the gaslighting behavior) “husband you always forget everything I ask and you must do it on purpose and husband you might be the one apologizing but I’d be one sorry wife when my clothes weren’t done the next day but you’d like that hey? Can’t you ever do anything right to get the laundry done husband? Can’t even press start on a washer not good for nothing are you? Always screwing me over”
That’s a more toxic gaslighty approach.
As it stands it’s not even a good set up for you to gaslight him lol.
Very toxic to behave that way towards you and it's not okay. He doesn't want to communicate with you but instead he's being short and argumentative. and the yelling? Not okay. When people make us feel guilty when we haven't done wrong, it's usually projection
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