In which order do you believe it should be?

I think it should be:

Wife/children/parents

One way of making sure your children have a good life and that you prioritise them is to prioritise your marriage and making sure they have happy healthy parents and a happy home.

I think you should be glad your partner puts you as his top priority.

But I get your point

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, I totally respect your answer and I do agree that it is important to show your kids happy and healthy parents and a happy home but to me I just feel that your kids should know they are always the main priority no matter what.
I am grateful for your take on it though as it helps me under my partners pov a bit better, so again thank you so much for sharing

I agree with Em, I think you can’t raise happy kids if you don’t have happy parents and that means taking care of each other etc, so making sure you have a healthy marriage/partnership means you’re raising future adults with a good understanding of what healthy relationships look like.

The family you create should be prioritised more than the family you came from.

I think it depends on the situation. If it's to rescue us from a burning building then absolutely the kids come first. I'm an adult and can at least try and save myself - the kids are defenceless. Also if it's down to the sort of love you have for them then for my kids it's unconditional however my husband could absolutely do something to make me fall out of love.

Generally though, your partner is the one that you're (ideally) spending the rest of your life with. Your kids are super important as well but in terms of a whole lifetime they probably aren't going to be with you for longer than 20 years or so. At least not ALL the time. So if you always prioritise the kids you're going to find yourself lost and with no connection to your partner once they leave. Age is key too! Young kids and their care is pretty all consuming. I know that bigger kids come with bigger problems but teenagers fit around your life a lot more than a newborn does.

So from me a boring answer - it depends! 😆

Kids are always first. In a scenario if there was a house fire I would be seething if my partner saved me before the kids. Kids first no matter what. Then me

This is just my opinion and I mean no offence to anyone in what I say but I believe it should be me/his kids/his mum, as long as the children are safe, loved and cared for. Firstly, prioritising your relationship shows your children that mum and dad are a team so you can't be pitted against each other and it gives your children their first example of a healthy loving relationship, teaching them what they should look for in future relationships/friendships, what it means to be loved, respected and cared for the way they deserve. Secondly, if you don't prioritise your relationship while your children are growing up it weakens the foundations of your relationship and when your kids are grown and have left home you won't be as strong/bonded to your partner and your relationship can be more easily broken. His mum is irrelevant in any case. Of course he should love and care for her but she should never be more important than his kids or his partner. That's part of growing up and starting your own family.

I'm conflicted on the order myself. I think priorities change depending on the season of life. When kids are super tiny, obviously (to me), they will be the priority. But as they become more independent, I think we should change the focus to our marriage because at the end of life, kids will grow up, leave us, their priorities will change, and the only person next to us is our spouse. So, we need to keep working on them, so in so many years, they are not strangers to us. At least that's what I tell myself.
However, I think I'm the priority to my husband, but for me, right now, priority is my kids.

It's whatever he chooses to prioritize. Yes there's a way it should be and a way it shouldn't be but it all comes down to the choices that people make and who they decide is most important to them. And if your partner doesn't choose you then he's got it wrong. But you can't raise a man they're already grown.

To me children are first and they are always my priority and I expect for them to be my partner's priority too. I always hear the argument of prioritising your relationship and whilst I get it it's not really practical in the early years of our children's lives. And also since having children my brain is wired so differently I can't help but prioritize my children in everything I do. I think as they get older and less dependent on me my priorities will naturally shift.

This all being said his mum is definitely not the person he should be prioritising. He has his own family and she has a wider support network.

Shocked at how many people are saying kids first!

Step dads delulu and just wants to make his own wife happy

It is so hard because I believe certain scenarios deem a certain order and others another order and the age of the kids truly does matter in alot of cases too.

I agree with your partner, your relationship is the foundation. If that’s unstable then everything else falls apart, and your kids suffer the consequences.

My partners mum has clearly chosen his dad over him his whole life and it’s affected him like crazy, my dad has also prioritised his relationship over a relationship with me and my siblings and that also stings. Since having our own baby we just can’t wrap our heads around how someone else can be more important than him? In everything I’ll always prioritise my baby, even when he’s older if we have a date night planned but our son wants to come home and see me/us for whatever reason, date night will be dropped 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think the baby and I are on equal footing. But it’s dependent on the situation. For example, me being postpartum, I need him to focus on me. I’ve got the baby. Make sure I’m fed and watered lmao but most importantly look out for me and check up on me. The baby doesn’t need you right now, she needs boobies and her mama, so make sure I’m up to the task basically.

Me
Littles
Rest of the family

As women, we will always prioritise our children as the people who birthed them and as the primary caregivers. And a lot of time women can lose themselves in looking after everyone else. Having a partner who prioritises you ensures that you are also looked after. And when you are happy, it’s good for the whole family.