Is your other half still seeking parental approval?
I had a strict dad growing up, I wanted his approval but when I bought my 1st home at 25, my relationship with him has been fantastic, he backs me over everything, is there for me emotionally, physically helping with DIY, financially. He's healthy and a brilliant grandad
My partner, still seems to be seeking approval from his dad over everything, it's actually starting to break my heart watching him trying to still jump through hoops and he won't have a bad word said about his father (naturally) I'm trying to remain neutral and respect their relationship but it does make me sad that a man in his mid 30s, turns into a child, desperately seeking that connection
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I’ve been married twice, my 1st husband did want his stepdad’s approval, which was always annoying to me bc he was already out of the house when he came along. My now husband & I did the “norm” I suppose, we didn’t need our parents approval or even their respect, they got it if they had earned it, bc it was long past time to start gaining our own child’s respect & trust & trying to aim to be better parents than our own parents were, even though we both had good loving parents who always did their best. We take care of my FIL so that he can live out his days in his own home, I just feed him & my hubs & now teen from my 1st marriage do chores he can’t handle after 2 strokes, but he still gets around fairly well, cans tomatoes every year, mows a lot of the time & still drives short distances. Mine are gone, I just have my stepmom left, she’s the same age as my SIL, since I’m “young” I teach her how to be smart about dating, so the roles have reversed around here. Lol
If I was you I’d be very gentle about the conversation, but I’d try to get through to him that it’s okay for him to walk away from this goal & make sure his own children never have to feel this way when they grow up. Even those of us who had wonderful parents have to deal with breaking generational cycles, temper for my hubs & making sure my kids believe me that I remember what being a kid is like for me & earning, not demanding, our children’s respect for both of us. Our parents even learned from our parenting approach. Our children, of all ages, have a lot to teach us if we allow them, if not they’ll resent us more for it in the future, the choice was easy for us bc we’re more concerned about our children than ourselves or our parents now.
He can't see it but yes. In very big ways
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