Wedding - my baby is not invited

She's obviously a good friend if youre her bridesmaids, ask if the baby can come if the answer is no , can someone have the baby close by and you leave to feed her (hotel or something) or just politely say sorry but I cant make it due to feeding my child

Clearly you need to take the baby or not go...explain to her. Can you take another adult with you to look after baby while you do bridesmaid stuff then feed baby when needed? So baby not really part of wedding but is there with you

It’s a difficult one. If you’re good friends with her ask if your baby can come with you for obvious reasons of being breastfed and not taking a bottle. If the answer is no then I wouldn’t go. Id pop in to see her at the reception and to bring the present but otherwise I wouldn’t go x

Thank you all, I think I need to either have my baby closeby or have an honest conversation with my friend. Leaving the wedding every few hours to feed is going to be draining and not very enjoyable.

Appreciate everyone’s thoughts! Xx

This is a difficult situation. If I was having a bridesmaid with a young baby I’d make an exception. I would ask her and if she says no then you can explain the situation because she kinda has you between a rock and a hard place

I’m not a bridesmaid, but FTM due at the wedding of a good friend at the beginning of May with baby due Dec, so will also be just 5 months and I have no idea what to do! I asked about bringing her and they said no children blanket rule 🤯 I get the idea of an adult only wedding, but I think it’s so difficult when you are BF a 5 month old to be present and enjoy the day. The venue for us is about 40 mins away and people have offered to have her but even if we go for just the ceremony and wedding breakfast it’s going to be at least 6.5 hours with travel 😥. I need to RSVP by 31st Oct and don’t know what to do!

I would talk to your friend about how your baby is ebf and see if she can accommodate you

I had 2 weddings within 6 weeks of birth, both said due to babies young age I could bring her, just be aware if baby is crying during the ceremony etc and leave the room. Fair enough. They are lovely. I actually chose not to go as baby was overdue and I had an emergency c-section and decided it was too soon... They were both lovely about it. Have a chat with your friend, and if they dont want baby there, then its up to you if you're ready to leave baby... personally I wouldn't as a good friend will make allowances when little one is so young.

Strange ‘friend’ since other babies will actually be there! Anyway, maybe it slipped her mind that you have an almost 5 month old baby. Ask your friend directly. You should not have to feel like this at all, especially since you are supporting her as a bridesmaid. If the answer is no, then said friend has got to go!

I think the problem is, if the person getting married doesn't have children/breastfed they don't really understand what that will be like for you, not their fault or yours but I'd definitely explain baby needs to come or I'm not going (politely)

I’d have this conversation with her sooner rather than later.

My sister in law was in a situation like this recently. Her baby is much younger.
She got her and her parents a little air bnb close to the venue so she could just nip back and feed the baby and then go back to the wedding.
It was one of her best friends and she really didn’t want to miss out on the day so she got the best of both worlds.

This is a tricky one. But at the end of the day is their wedding and if they don't want babies I would just not go. Explain that the baby is EBF and that means that you have to be with the baby but they also have the right of not wanting children at their wedding.We have a wedding in December when little one is going to be almost six Months .. We haven't RSPVed until we got confirmation that the baby could come .

Update: I spoke to my friend about bringing my baby and it is a no unfortunately.

I think I will be attending the day and leaving shortly after the meal as 1. It’s going to be tiring going back and fourth all day (I’ve booked a hotel room down the road) and 2. I’m just not yet ready to leave my baby for such a long day x

Honestly that’s a bit shitty on the behalf of your friend x

Could you get a babysitter for the wedding? So that they can stay in the hotel and you can be nearby and come and go after/during the ceremony and party? I did a no-children wedding and friends didn’t come because of it but in retrospect if I had known more I would have offered some sort of childcare option or tried to help them find a babysitter for the ceremony. It’s hard when you don’t have kids to understand people who do. Although having taken my 2 year old to a wedding (he was ring bearer) my husband and I have decided never to bring our kid to another wedding until he’s older or we can get childcare. It was too much to be present at the wedding and to be parenting at the same time.