Is it wrong/inappropriate to meet up with a married man (and his toddler son who is friends with my son) without his wife or my husband there?

it’s fine. men and women can have opposite sex friends, people who think otherwise need to grow up 🤣

I dont think so. She suggested it when she couldn’t meet up. Sounds like a trust issue, to be honest. She seems to trust her husband, and you, enough to suggest and do that. Is there a reason he(your husband) could be disappointed? Would he like to arrange dad/son days with the husband? Or could he be jealous you met him without her/him there?

Your husband being disappointed, seems like enough reason to me not to. It’s not about if it’s inappropriate or not if it makes him at all uncomfortable I wouldn’t and honestly if he didn’t say anything, I love that he trust you, but you can tell it makes him uncomfortable. I would want to reward his trust and him not being controlling and not do it again. Literally just my opinion, though. I don’t actually think it’s inappropriate

If his wife and your husband are aware there’s nothing wrong with the situation.

As long as his wife and your partner is okay w it that’s all that matters. But the fact that your husband is disappointed changes things a lil. The person you need to speak to is him and make sure he’s 100% okay w it and not hold any resentment towards you coz at the end of the day you’re coming back to him. In the meantime though reach out and try to find another mum w same age as your boy for play dates. Or maybe schedule family playdates on the weekend so everyone’s there. The zoo, or the market, is a great place, we’ve done that it’s casual and everyone can just relax and walk and be themselves without any pressure to fill the void.

Well i wouldn’t say it’s not appropriate since everyone ok with it and your not like sneaking around 😅 but if it was me I wouldn’t because of the husband feeling it’s not ok. I respect my husband feeling more than what others think is ok. Don’t really care if it’s appropriate or not as long as he ok with it. I mean would you like it if your husband did something that made you feel disappointed and still did it?

Well, you know your husband doesn’t like it, so…

It’s dependent on your relationship. It would be “wrong” in mine because we have clear boundaries that this would go against.

He’s just the parent of your child’s friend. I find it weird that anyone would have an issue with a man and a woman meeting for a playdate.

What if he’s super hot tho 🤣

If your significant others know you’re doing it no. If you’re hiding it or purposely not telling them you’re doing it yes. Sounds like they both know. Maybe ask your husband why he looked upset about it.

Is it wrong that your children had a play date and the available parents attended? No? I feel like some people read too much into things.

We are adults, if your husband cant use his big boy words and directly tell you its a issue, then its not a problem or inappropriate.

I think communication is great. This should have been something you spoke to him about before it happened. But now that you’re here, you still need to talk to him about it. You can tell he didn’t like it but still bring it up and speak to him. But I would not do it again.

Me personally, I don’t do these types of things. I do hang out by myself with other men that are not my husband or my family. I would only hang out with other moms and I do not engage with other men besides a kind hello. I leave my husband to engage with other men. I stick to women.

I don’t think anything is wrong with it and it sounds like OP didn’t know until it happened so there was no way to ask her husband his thoughts and opinions as the other couple had discussed it amongst themselves. Also you can’t do anything about what on lookers think that doesn’t matter

I honestly think it's silly that men and women can't be seen to be friends without other people being around. If you're friends, you're children want to play with each other and would miss out otherwise then it's fine. As long as you don't both like each other in other ways then meeting up for a play date is fine. Now that you know your husband has a bit of a problem, I'd just let him know beforehand if it happens again so that he can have the opportunity to voice any concerns if he wants and you can reassure him.

I always let my husband know who I’m going to be around, and who our kids will be around. You never know who sees you when you’re out, will mention to your husband they saw you with another man and if your husband didn’t know ahead of time that could have him looking like he doesn’t know who his wife hangs out with.
I went to dinner with my brother and someone texted my then boyfriend saying they saw me “out to dinner with a man, we laughed together, I touched his arm and we hugged.” My boyfriend already knew it was my brother so no issues.

I would definitely meet my kid's friends dad. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it. My partner would also definitely hang with my female friends. We are all friends and we are not animals and can behave with the opposite sex.

Since she knew and was okay with it and youre friends with both it's fine. But your husband doesn't seem okay with it so I would respect that

I wouldn't say its inappropriate. His wife was okay with it. So in their marriage it was acceptable. In yours? I don't know. Talk to your husband. Mention that while he may not have said anything his body language and facial expression made you feel like he had feelings about it and that if he did you want to be able to talk about it and make sure you're on the same page moving forward. Maybe he did feel uncomfortable. Or maybe he was the last to know and it didnt feel good. Is he friends with the couple? Do I tell my wife everywhere im going? No. But do I let her know when im going to hangout with someone, playdate or not? Absolutely. Maybe he has that expectation and thought it was mutually understood. No one is wrong here. But it is worth checking in so a problem doesnt develop over nothing!!!

I think a lot of people are missing the fact you literally talked to your husband about it when y’all were catching up on you alls day. You didn’t hold onto it for another day and honestly if you were hiding it or hiding something nefarious then you wouldn’t be asking opinions of others seeing that your husband seemed disappointed. I also agree with the comments that are responding to why you would need to “ask permission” of your husband. You are a grown woman and you are also the parent of your child/children, why in the hell are you asking his permission ?! For you to want to communicate with him about your intentions is mature and responsible for the marriage but it’s no need to ask permission like he’s your dad too. For the time being I would ask him what he was disappointed about if he was at all and make a plan going forward so it won’t be a misunderstanding.

It’s a play date for the kids not an actual date

Whether it is “inappropriate” depends on your husband’s feelings and boundaries. It’s great it was discussed with the wife on those end but on yours, it seems to make your husband uncomfortable but he may not know how to express it or want any drama. I’d talk to him again and see how he feels about it and if he would be okay with you doing it again. Me personally- I do not spend time alone with any men that aren’t family because I know my husbands thoughts and feelings about respect and boundaries. I always let him know in general where I am going and what I’m doing with my children beforehand as much as possible for safety reasons.

It is not wrong and for a lot of people is fine. But you will find that some are not OK with it even if everyone is behaving appropriately.

Some people are territorial or may feel wrong about it. If your husband doesn't feel OK with it, find out why, address it or just accept it.

I know a couple where the wife does not let us arrange playdates unless she is present. If only my husband meets for a playdate with her husband, then she is fine with it and she is OK meeting me for a playdate. But if for some reason only the husband can meet me, then it is a no. I personally think it is a bit silly but that is how things are in their relationship. I know other couples who are fine organising playdates and happy to send the husband when the wife can't make it, they understand it is about the kids and nothing else.

Some of the comments here are wild! Why on earth would anyone's husband / wife be jealous of their spouse meeting someone for a kids play date?!

If the meet-up was somewhere punishing like the park, a kid play place, or similar, it doesn't matter what other people think. If people are going to make up stuff they are going to. If his wife was there, they could make up things like you are stepping out on your husband with both of them. So, as long as both spouses are aware, let people think what they want.

So what are you supposed to do if you just happen to see someone’s husband alone with their kids (and you’re friends with the family). Like you didn’t plan to meet up at the park or the pool but you just so happened to both be there at the same time.

Would you ignore them? “Oh sorry, can only say hello since your wife and my husband aren’t here.” That’s honestly so immature and rude.

Truly cannot imagine caring in the slightest who my husband sees and speaks to throughout his day.

I didn’t read the rest of it, no it’s not inappropriate but a quick text to your husband next time when it happens might give him peace of mind, even take a more active role of playing with baby or take videos and send them to dad so eventually he’s like she’s just paying attention to our baby it’s ok and he’ll be alright

Not inappropriate imo.
My husband would only be jealous he didn’t get to play on the playground with us lol

Hey, just my thoughts, but I think touching base with your husband would've been a good idea, (even if he was busy at work) keeping your partner in the loop about plans like that can help avoid misunderstandings. I can see why he might've felt a bit caught off guard, and it's possible people could've misread the situation. Something to think about for next time!

It's not inappropriate. It wasn't even inappropriate when I was a child (my parents were divorced and my father had primary custody). It's kind of sad that people would rather kids suffer then let them play with someone who has a parent of the opposite gender. My husband and I are equal parents (minus his inability to make milk). He is expected to show up as a dad whether onlookers like seeing him as one or not. Normal ppl would just see it as a play date for the children. They would not be concerned about how you ended up at a place at the same time. That said My husband has had FOMO before. He wants to be at every playdate because he loves standing around with parents gushing about being a parent. Other topics would be completely appropriate but he is obsessed.

Is it possible that your husband had FOMO or wondered if he missed a group text/opportunity to hang? If he doesn't trust your friends, that's really a separate topic. If he wouldn't trust himself in that situation, that's also a different topic.

If yall are both actively playing with your children/ talking about your children and spouses/ having appropriate conversations then that’s fine. Personally I wouldn’t do it. But if your spouses don’t care then it’s fine.

I don’t think the onlookers opinions matter 🤷🏼‍♀️🫣 these comments are crazy.

If my husband knew, his wife knew. And everyone was okay with it? Guess what the only opinions that matter? Your 4 🤣