Is celebrating your child's birthday "spoiling" them?

And now I wanna know who's voting "no fun allowed" and why

That’s so dumb honestly

What the heck!

What?! I’ve never heard of this 😗

There is a lot of worrying about spoiling through getting this and doing things. I do not think it's the issue that people make it out to be.

Sorry I read it as “no, fun is allowed” 🫣🤣

I’m already planning birthday parties in Feb & May lol, I don’t go crazy but I do on a budget

It is only if you’re spending over a grand on what should be something small for the kid. Some ppl go big and I think the parties ppl are having for their kids nowadays are a little over the top.

I’ve got a friend whose family doesn’t believe in celebrating birthdays and he didn’t get to go out and celebrate it at all till he got a license . I’d always wish him a happy bday but he hated that they didn’t celebrate them they also didn’t celebrate most holidays from what I remember.

I celebrate birthdays

I was honestly expecting the opposite post when I saw the title saying people are too OTT these days with giant balloon arches and 100 gifts for a 1st birthday 🤣
Celebrating your child's birthday isn't spoiling them🙃

This can’t be an actual trend?? That’s so sad

Your friends sound insufferable

This is so ridiculous
We all worry we are spoiling our kids sometimes but not celebrating the day they came into this world is just cruel!

Birthdays are ment to be celebrated, spoiling is the parents that spend thousands 😂
We do minimal parties with easy food and limit gifts on the list to like $20-50 each so people aren't going crazy

Once a year celebration =/= spoiling?!

This sounds like a great way to ensure your kids cut contact when they turn 18.

Not celebrating birthdays and holidays is a religious thing for some, but it doesn’t have anything to do with spoiling the kids. I grew up as a Jehovah’s Witness so I never celebrated birthdays until last year when my brother was working in Miami and offered to bring me down for a trip.

I don’t think celebrating a birthday would spoil a kid unless they already got what they wanted every other day of the year

This isn't a thing in my experience. Where did you get this idea from?

I thought “no fun allowed” was sarcastic so I hit that one lol

I celebrate myself so why wouldn’t I celebrate the life I created??

I feel like birthdays are just a good time to make lasting memories with them, make them feel super special for a day, as long as I tell my kids no almost every time we go to the store for random junky toys, I’ll feel pretty good that I’m not spoiling them. I’ll tell my kids, “we can hold it for a minute but we’re NOT buying it” then when time is up I say “okay say bye bye to the toy” only one that puts up a fight is my son really 😆

We celebrate as a family. But we do not do birthday parties.

Like they don’t celebrate at all or they just keep it low key? Cuz I could understand that latter for budget reasons

Why wouldn't you want to celebrate the anniversary of the day your child was born 🥺

Celebrating a birthday will not spoil your kids that’s like a holiday , it’s thier special day

Some people opt out for religious reasons as well

We celebrate birthdays, but don’t do big birthdays. Like we don’t do big parties and a ton of gifts, just something small with the family. Usually we take them to do something they enjoy (this year my sons chose chuck E Cheese and bowling) and we bake a cake together and open one gift at home.

Some parents only celebrated for a couple of years . Mine celebrated until we were adults . My baby is 2.5 months and I’ve been celebrating her month milestones, so basically a mini birthday each month. I’m just extra 😝

How is it spoiling them…

People must really hate their kids 🫠

Nah, they are just crappy soulless parents

We celebrate but keep it low key, x

I've never heard something so ridiculous in my life, they're just shit parents

We celebrate all bdays. Kids. Mine. Hubbys. MIL. Everyone. The very least we do is host, cook dinner, gather, and someone gets cake for us to sing happy bday and they blow cake. We have 20 people in the extended family and everyone gets to blow cake on their bday as standard no one is “forgotten”.

My side of the family will have a low key birthday ‘party’ if I organise it all. Partners side don’t do birthdays at all unless it’s a child under 10 and even then it’s not called a birthday.

Oh I wish I knew how to let my children's birthday's pass without at least 3 back-to-back parties!🥳
Between family, cousins, friends, daycares and school we can never settle for just a single party🤦‍♀️

All I can think of reading this is “What the actual fuck?” Like….????? How is that considered an option?

Edit: after ranting about this to my husband bc I genuinely cannot fathom this we’ve decided if our children ever befriend children who’s parents don’t celebrate birthdays we will start running a birthday underground

So for anyone interested in a bit of closure:

I spoke a little more with my husband (we're very glad this isn't some new trend we didn't know about, lol), and it came up how the woman in question did not have a lot growing up. And by a lot I mean like nothing. She never got anything. Her mother was a chronic gambler and so they never had money. He remembers the first time he saw her room, it was bare. Like not a thing. Now, they are quite comfortable. She has a six-figure salary with benefits, and her wife has a comfortable job, so they both have way more than they were used to growing up.

Not saying this is a justification or an excuse, because a kid should never be deprived just because their parents were, but in a way I can kind of see the twisted logic here, where she's wary of her kids having too much because she grew up with so little, that every little thing her own kids get seems like a lot.

Omg I meant to press i celebrate birthday

That's ridiculous. I'm generally one for balance but a birthday is the ONE day a year where it is/should be ALL about the birthday person, no matter the age. Everything else that typically has gifts is shared and usually has some life lesson attached to it. A birthday is about the day you entered the world-- and if you're still here, I hope you celebrate it!

Next time say yes, I want to spoil him/her a little. Kids who get spoil by their parents don’t get impressed easily. There’s nothing wrong with spoiling your child as long as you’re teaching them empathy to be kind, patient etc. If you don’t who will?

People tell me to let my baby cry so I don’t spoil him. I refused. I want my child to know I’m a safe space. When he can process things and talk. I will teach him to put his feelings into words.
It’s good to listen to people advice but you don’t have to take in everything they say.

I go all out for my kids because it helps heal my inner child. There were things I missed out on growing up, and I do my best to make sure my kids don't have to worry about the same things. Honestly, it feels better than therapy for me. Every holiday or celebration I create for them helps me heal past traumas, and it works wonders. Celebrating my kids on their special day is non-negotiable. I want them to have the best memories of their childhood, and by sharing the ones I cherish, I can make those memories even better for them.

Dang are they Jehovah’s Witnesses? Not celebrating your child’s bday is borderline neglect 😭

I would give your friends an heart attack with my child 😂 unless it’s harming her she can do it. I have never told her no just not right now but best believe she will have it at some point 😂😂

You could always have people bring books instead of toys…

We definitely weren't spoiled when I was growing up, but my mom ALWAYS made our birthdays special with a homemade cake and special gifts, even if she had to make those too. Birthdays were always something to look forward to. It should be a celebration of that person's existence and letting them know they are loved and appreciated!! 😃

I mean reading your update, I see what you mean and I guess we kinda do the same thing. We dont really do presents for our kids on their birthday, maybe one or two. Really they get to choose what kind of bday trip they have, far away or kinda close to home. We dont have much money but their birthdays are spread out enough we can save just enough. Far away we go a state away for like 2 nights at a cheap hotel or family (depending where we go) if we stay at a hotel then we find free stuff to do around town, if with family then we spend a bit more on activities. For close to home we will drive anywhere up to 2 hrs away and do something (major cities with all the fun stuff are 2hrs away) like the children's museum we can use wic, which allows for 4 people to get in for $5 each. Then we may do a little shopping or something because we didnt spend much