Am I actually insane like my mom says?
I’m a SAHM. I have a 4 year old with suspected ADHD. A 1 year old that doesn’t sleep in the nights. My partner works, yes I have help. But help in the way my mom will come down the house and just be here. Anyway, I have ADHD so I struggle with my emotions, and a week before my period I’m overwhelmed, I’m angry, I’m tearful and I let my partner and my mom know that if I’m touchy it’s because of that. My kids have driven me CRAZY this week. They have both been unwell and so have I. I’m burnt out, I haven’t slept, I’ve had to carry on being a mom like we all have to, whilst looking after myself and my kids. Anyways, today has been REALLY hard emotionally it’s been challenging. My kids haven’t stopped screaming and fighting and just all the things kids do. I suggested to my partner I might book a hotel for myself because I am NEVER away from the kids. They won’t sleep up my mum’s house they eventually want me. So I do not get a break. My partner was fine with the hotel idea, I told my mom and she thinks I’m having some sort of psychotic break. She is saying she’s worried to death for me. She’s asking how the hell I could do this, I’m so confused because, it’s just a night at a hotel where I can completely chill and SLEEP. She’s made me feel really insecure and it’s made me feel like a bad mom. She knows the struggle, she sees how hard it is with two small kids. She knows the pressure I am under. When we were children, she worked, my grandmother looked after us Monday-Friday. I KNOW it’s easier to go to work and just come home to the kids, bath’d fed and ready for bed. I did it for a short stint. I was much happier. Anyways. My question, am I actually having a psychotic break like she says? Or does anyone else feel like this is completely ok to have TIME to yourself? Some women might want to get dinner and a wine with friends, stay out late and come home. I’d rather go to a hotel, have a face mask on, watch my tv and go to sleep. I thought could trust her in saying I am feeling quite overwhelmed and this is my solution which I know will help me. Their dad gets to spend the day out tomorrow, what difference does it make?
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Can I just say that this used to be me. I had ADHD, burn out, overwhelm. It was a lot. It was emotional trauma, the more I dealt with my darkness and worked on my own self care the easier life became. Even though I was still doing the same stuff. Boundaries, saying no and removing any mom guilt. Don’t ever feel guilty to say this is what I want or need. Regardless of what others think. Your body is screaming for a break. This is normal. And it is very normal for someone with ADHD to lose it. Often.
I’ve learned that ADHD is actually a much deeper connection to spirit realms. Our brains rewired as kids to deny spiritual realms. All that noise or constant thoughts, that’s your untamed guides trying to tell you what to do all at once. You likely have many guides who are trying to be heard. I started by healing journey by playing healing solfeggio tones and asking for only well and wise guides to come forward. The others imagine behind plexiglass where they can observe quietly. 🫂
Do what you need only you know what you need. This is your life journey and human experience nobody else’s. it doesn’t matter what others think. They aren’t you. You are you and only you know how you feel. I started doing Reiki to help with my ADHD. I’m not sure where you are but my business offers Distance Reiki for cheap $30 for 30 min. It helps move stuck emotions in our system thus helping the energy flow properly again and making emotions easier to regulate. I also did hand in hand parenting. Which taught me a lot about my own emotional well being and how much it needs to be nurtured. You got this mama. Listen to your intuition. What feels right?
You’re more powerful than you think. ADHD is a gift being pinned against us so we don’t use its super powers.
I did this last year (pre LO coming along though) where I took a solo city break for a few days. Roamed the city during the day, watched filmed in the bath at night, buffet breakfast in the morning. I loved it. It was such a good break not having to plan or agree on stuff with anyone else, or work on anyone else's schedule. I also have ADHD and just needed a break from the day to day.
She sucks for this. No. You are not insane.
If someone was really having a psychotic episode, the thing to do would be to get them help and make sure the children are safe.
You do sound sleep deprived, however. Sleep 8 hours and see how different you feel. You don’t need her permission to go sleep in a hotel.
Sorry she did that. That really sucks and it doesn’t even help. Don’t tell her your business anymore.
Take the trip. You deserve a break. You have to do what's right for you. You will thank yourself later for this. Sometimes we have to teach people how we want to be treated.
Wtf you're not insane. This is a normal healthy thing to do.
Thank you everyone. Since this, my mom has become more understanding of things. Thankfully ❤️
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