Need advice on how to approach
Hey guys, this is probbaly going to be an odd request for advise but my partner and I are at a loss.
We are currently house sharing with my sister and her husband, they have no kids. We rented a house with them to cut rent cost when I was 20 weeks pregnant. Our daughter is now 18 months old. We will be moving in Jan/Feb 2026 and will no be longer living with them. This is mostly due to the household clashing around housework etc.
Anyways, my parnter and I are really struggling at the moment with the amount of privacy we are getting. Our bedroom is joined to the room we use as an office. Throughout our time living here they have had phases of gaming in the office at night, no big deal. Until it's every single night and we can no longer have sex without them being on the other side of the wall. We have gone through many of these phases without saying anything as obviously, we all pay rent here. However, my sister has been off work for the past 6 months or so due to mental health reasons. She has gamed in the office during nap time and from 8pm(bubs bed time) till 12-3am at night. Almost every single night. We have tried to ignore it and have sex as usual but its SO distracting knowing she can hear us right through the wall, she never leaves when she hears us. But has made comment before that she hears us from time to time. They have just decided to get back into a game I know will have them in there every day for hours upon hours. At this point it is really starting to affect our sex life and causing tension as once bub finally goes down, we still dont get time for us. Hubby really wants to say something as he is over it but I am worried about causing more issues in the house by trying to control where they can go at what times. The worst part is they both game on gaming laptops, meaning they can take them anywhere in the house to game but never play anywhere but the office.
Sorry this was long as hell but I am at a loss. Do I be the asshole and say something? How would you approach this?
Thanks for any advice
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You wouldn't be an asshole for saying something. Like you said, you ALL pay rent there. They can give you guys some time at least 3 times a week. Ask them if they could just play in their room or the living room or the kitchen, anywhere but the office some times so you can have sex. If you guys do it again and they say something then you can just tell them "you didn't have to listen" or I'm petty so it'd be along the lines of "would you prefer I not have sex in my room? The sofa looks comfy" They're just being inconsiderate. It's not like you guys are sharing a wall with them and making comments about hearing them be intimate.
All this to say have an open conversation with them, make a compromise like from 9-10 3x a week they don't go in the office. It's not ideal but it's doable.
I would get a white noise machine and turn it up in the office. They wear headsets and will probably not even hear it. If they ask why it’s in there, be blunt.
I would buy them noise canceling headphones and tell them exactly why I am giving them noise canceling headphones. You are all adults. 🤷🏻♀️ Except for bub, but I'm sure he doesn't mind yet 🙃
They should be more understanding as they are affecting their nephews sleep and your marriage with this. All they gotta do is game somewhere else during those times. Have you mentioned it as a problem before?
i’d say something, i’d approach your sister and just say girl look my relationship and sex life is struggling bc you’re always gaming in the room next to us and it’s awkward for us that you can hear for the sake of my vaginas needs please game somewhere else at night haha. and if she doesn’t that’s just bad girl code. it doesn’t need to be a mean or angry vibe conversation. try just approaching it in a girl help me out kinda way and if that doesn’t work then maybe get real serious about it
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