I need advice

So for context my husband has a 12 year old daughter who lives in missouri, her mom moved them there 10 years ago when her mom and my husband broke up.


My husband's sister, brother in law, there 3 boys who is 10 months, 3 years, and 4 year old and there mom are all in North Carolina.


We have a 4 year old daughter and a 1.5 year old daughter.


His daughter is wanting us to move to Missouri, but our girls will have to leave there family. Which im not to worried about it. But theres no guarantee that his daughter will come over. Shes upset that we had kids and she has quit coming down to see us since my daughter was 1. So 3 years. She told my husband that she wants him to sign over his rights or move up there. Which I totally understand the feelings.
But we will have a HARD time to nearly impossible to find a place and a job. We broke our lease 3 years ago due to our house being broken into and its been haunting us. We are trying to pay that debt off.


Then his mom and his family wants to move us to north Carolina so our girls will grow up with their cousins. His mom said we can stay with her until we can get us a house, she can help us get jobs. We will have support and his mom said that she will help fly his 12 year old and she can go to the beach ect.

Hes having to pick kids basically and I dont know what to do.

Us moving to north Carolina would be good for our girls as they have never had family.


But then again theres my husbands daughter. We dont know what to do.

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I would just do what you feel best for your family only do if you feel it’s right

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I'd move to North Carolina. He needs to explain to his daughter he will visit her in Missouri, does he visit her there often, and she is welcome to come to North Carolina whenever she wants. As long as he keeps contact and shows he's trying to keep in touch, she will understand when she's older. She's 13 her hormones are raging and she's in a selfish stage most teens are at that age (not all, i know, I have 3 my self 2 are angry and selfish 1 is not and never has been). She will get over it and hopefully understand when she's older.

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What does this kid even know about parental rights? Or are they words that have been fed to her?
Does she understand what she’s actually asking for?

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To be honest I don't think she will come over if there's that much jealousy. You would be better moving to North Carolina with support and help. If you move there you'd be stuck and stressed and skint. As you said it'd be hard to get a job. It will be even harder with out people to help look after little ones. I'd move to North Carolina and let him go see her once every 6 months to year for a few days and the offers there for her to come to yours when ever she wants. She will just have to like it or lump it.

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It’s so hard dealing with the outsides kid emotions(I have a 12yo step daughter as well) and it’s difficult. I’d honestly do what’s best for your family, and I’m always down for positive support.

I’m not to sure of y’all staying with the MIL bc.. well, yk how people get. Start singing a different tune once you’re down there(not all the time but most). & on the plus side if yall do go towards his mom she’s offered to help with his other child. Kinda a win/win.

When do you have to come up with your answer?

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You mean the child told her dad to abandon her younger sibling for her and you are saying you understand her or I’m not understanding the post well ?? Where did she get that idea from??

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