Mother in law problems …
When my mother in law visits us. She always asks my husband, “is baby available for viewing” which I find rude in itself…she then walks straight past me, no hello, no hug, straight to our baby…. She also gives him kisses, I find all of this upsetting, none of my husbands family even ask how I am feeling or recovering at 3 weeks post c section, my husband thinks there’s isn’t a problem with how she is being however I feel really hurt by it all. Am I I overreacting?
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Not overreacting at all.
My in laws came over just after Bub was born and told me that I should go to bed if I’m tired, brought me all my favourite snacks too. Another time my FiL and hubby took the baby and MiL took me out to breakfast for an hour so that I could have a break - at about 3 weeks PP maybe.
My in laws call in frequently now, always text me the day before to ask if it’s okay and then again just before they call in. They stay for 10-30 minutes usually, usually bring snacks or nappies or wipes and then leave. They always ask how I’m doing, always greet me. If we’re having dinner with them, MiL takes the baby (if he’s fussing) when dinner’s ready so that hubby and I both get a hot meal. She also bathes and changes his nappy.
You’re not overreacting. My in laws are top notch, sure. But yours are crap. You’re their family too.
You are definitely not overreacting. Coming to your home, your safe space, not saying hello, ignoring you, etc is very disrespectful. Your husband should not try to ignore it or dispraise it.
Also, if you set your boundaries straight and told everyone not to kiss the baby and she does it nonetheless, tell her off. That's not ok ignoring your boundaries. Your baby - your rules. She had the chance to raise her children under her rules. Now it's your turn.
I have similar issues with my MIL - hogging always over my husband and now baby as well, making everything about her. When we asked her to respect our rules and boundaries regarding baby, she got offended and told everyone how cruel we are that she can't kiss her grandchild 🙄 Also she made jokes about my family respecting our boundaries. I feel you and I am really sorry. But stay strong and keep your boundaries up
And that's understandable - your partner should show more compassion for you. Your hormones are a rollercoaster at the moment and you are still recovering.
Talk to him about your feelings, explain everything to him calmly (believe me, men are not aware of what we go through emotionally, most of all if they didn't bother educating themselves about the whole pregnancy and post partum topic).
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