How are you raising your child compared to how your parents raised you?

I answered mostly differently….its hard some days to be completely different for me because of how I was hard wired but when I realize I’m losing my patience and lash out I apologize and explain myself. I never want her to think she can’t ask me stuff. My daughter is 3.5 years and she really tries to test me some days but I know that’s natural and there’s so much going through her brain I can’t just expect things from her like she’s been around forever.

Different: My mom wasn’t as physically harsh as yours, but emotionally abusive, and believed children should be seen and not heard so my opinions and beliefs were not just silenced but met with opposition. She was impatient, shouted constantly, was controlling and never let me pick out my own outfits, infantilized me, criticized me, kept me from seeing friends, and took her anger at my brother out on me. I am definitely doing the opposite with my daughter- I want her to know her opinions matter, and that she isn’t expected to fit into anyone’s narrow definition of perfect, and she can have power to choose what she wants, and build friendships. I also don’t care if she just gets C grades because my mom demanded I get As all the time so I had extreme anxiety at school especially on tests and studied hours and hours every night.

My mom was a great mom, but if I had any complaints, she was a bit overly critical at times and over involved, so those are the things I want to work on. I have her perfectionism and she and my grandmother were often so critical (and praised me relentlessly when I did something right), that I struggle at trying anything I'm not immediately great at - and chores can feel overwhelming because I was taught to keep a house spotless. I wouldn't mind mostly turning out like my mom, though. She's the closest relationship I have.

Mostly different. I’m not planning on being a stay at home mom like mine was. Ofc the economy sucks in general, but I also like my job and it’s easy for the income to effort I guess.

In the past I used to judge some of their choices, now I have compassion and understanding.

Some things are similar because now I understand why they did it, but a few things are different simply because I have a different life from the one they had... In some ways, in others it is very similar.

Have you read "The book you wish your parents had read"? We will never be the perfect parents, we will make mistakes, our children will always have some sort of trauma and they will make wrong choices despite our best efforts. It is better to fix our own issues before becoming parents but we are humans.

This is exactly how I grew up with my mother!!!! I was raised to be overly considerate of her feelings and emotions and to think about things without even knowing that I should? I have this SAME exact feeling towards raising my daughter when she comes and it makes me cry how my mother raised me. I just do not want my daughter to feel that way towards me. My mother and I do not have the best or closest relationship due to this. She was also a single mother trying her best but it really molded me as a person.

Their parenting is Mars and I am earth.. that's how far off I am from their parenting thank fuck

I try to keep the positives and leave the negatives. But I also try and remember, they were doing the exact same thing as I am when they had us. They didn’t want to be their own parents and were doing what they thought was best. So I don’t hold anything against them.

I feel like I could have written the first half of that paragraph, wow. I plan on parenting the complete opposite of what my mom did, My dad on the other hand (parents were split) I plan to parent the way he did.

Completely different. They would have been considered “gentle parents”. We are extremely strict.

Mostly like my mom . We talk some things out and we explain ourselves and we teach how to get through some of our bigger emotions and we also have time outs when necessary. I got to see my mom as my own mother and she was a foster mom when I was a teen and my whole upbringing she worked with special needs students and I enjoyed seeing her approach to different scenarios even now I find her insightful.

Not as a Mormon