When do you know?

Hi mommas ,
I am a ftm to my sweet boy who is now 15 months old. The relationship with his dad has always been a bit rocky. I myself am a neurodivergent mom so I have been trying to work it all out from mental health to living with someone for the first time to also being a bonus mom to his other 2 sons. I think in the beginning of everything we both had high hopes, however for a while now I have been thinking maybe this isnt the healthiest relationship for me and even my son. His dad is not a good or bad dad he has a lot of responsibilities and tbh is very messy so a lot of times im the one trying to organize any kinda family bonding or even ask him to spend time with our son. When do you know maybe its time to separate? How do I deal with the thoughts of feeling like im breaking my son's family? I feel so afraid my son will grow up to resent me if I do leave his dad but I am falling into deeper and deeper depression and anxiety around his dad.

1