What would you do if your partner tipped like this?
Tonight my husband and I tried a new all you can eat sushi place. At the beginning my husband said that he just wanted the hibachi and not the all you can eat. Everything was fine and at the end when the bill came he corrected her and said that he only wanted the hibachi instead of the all you can eat.
When we were ready to go I looked at the bill it came to $60. I looked at the tip and he gave $8.
He saw me looking and saw that I was upset in my face. I said I can't let you do that and I took the receipt to change the tip. He grabbed my pen and said that it doesn't always have to be my way.
I sat there a few more minutes looking to see if I had any cash and I didn't.
I tried again just saying I just can't leave without tipping and he grabbed the receipt from me.
He told me in the car that not all things have to be done my way.
So I said okay. Then if you choose to tip like that I will not go out to eat with you. He said okay. He tried to reason saying it wasn't good service and I just said you can choose to do what you want but I'm not comfortable arguing or supporting that.
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Absolutely not. I actually stopped seeing someone I had dated for 6 months because the first time we went out to dinner he tipped like 5% and said he hated "tipping culture".
Yeah- I also hate that our businesses don't pay people a living wage, but not tipping our awesome waitress isn't going to change that......gave me the absolute ick.
What would you expect him to tip ?
I'm not sure how tipping works in the US but usually it's 12.5% added to the bill here in the UK as a service charge and I guess you could tip more so $8 seems reasonable to me. Do waitresses get paid a wage ? 🤔
Completely depends on where you are. I'm guessing US?
I don't tip at all but that's because waiters get paid a good salary here
This is a big red flag to me! I always pay attention to how someone tips because that tells me so much about who they are as a person (being here in the US). And the fact that he was so weird about it saying “you don’t have to be right all the time”- this isn’t about you being right. This is about you having a heart and knowing these people rely on tips! And i honestly don’t like how he talked to you! 🚩🚩🚩
In the moment I didn't see my reaction as controling. I see now that I could've gone about by sharing my feelings about being uncomfortable with that tip. Also I was raised being told 20% was the baseline to give. I wasn't thinking that 15% is lower than what I'm comfortable with but not uncommon. Thanks for the feedback
as someone who worked in the service industry i dont blame anyone if they can’t afford to tip very much. everyone deserves to eat out once in a while, no shame in tipping what you are financially able to. if you don’t like how much he tipped that’s fine too, but ill never judge anyone if they can’t tip a lot
I dont think you were being controlling but I do think maybe you made him feel judged like you were automatically right for your way of thinking and he was wrong and unethical which isnt necessarily fair. You are both allowed to have your own opinions and feelings and express them but I guess if hes paying the bill and he feels strongly that the service wasnt good then it matters to him that hes making a point with the tip hes giving. And it was 13% not offensive. I personally feel the entire point of tipping culture is to incentivise staff to do a good job. If you tip 20% no matter what, that defeats the purpose.
Side note: some servers and bar staff make way more than a lot of people who paid for univeristy and are working professional jobs and still paying off loans. I met a woman in the dominican on holiday who earns 6 figures working 3 days a week at a bar. INSANE! Tips can really add up when you are waiting several tables at a time. And shes just 1 example of many I know in the US.
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