What consequences does an abusive man face after a separation? It seems all he goes through is paying child support which is BS compared to what it really costs to raise a kid.

On Facebook, look up “your city name, are we dating the same guy?” To see if there is one in your city or near it. I’ve found that so many women are in that group to see if their man is cheating. I see women in there all the time posting about their POS BDs to spread the word. I’m so sorry you went through this mama! Also, if he was abusive, I wouldn’t use the term that he abandoned you. He saved you from continuing living in his personal hell.


Abusive men are good at manipulating. The next woman he goes on to date will have no clue bc he’s prob charming and tells her that “everything my ex says is a lie, she’s crazy.” Also, child support isn’t punishment. It’s to help raise the child.

It's unfortunate not much seems to happen I think EM gave the best answer

Idk if it still exists but in my city there was something called the Tea app where women would post the men they dated to warn other women what kind of person they are.

But I agree wholeheartedly, you shouldn’t be allowed to ruin someone’s life and then nothing happen…I think in TN they have a registry now for people who commit DV they need to make it national

You're more at peace when you just accept it and move on. The need for revenge or to get back isn't conducive to your healing. And tbh you could plaster this everywhere and he's still going to date women and live a life practically unchanged.

Would you believe some get away without ever financially supporting the kid? And still end up married or in relationships afterwards? Abusers are good at what they do.

My abusive BD abandoned us and doesn't pay any child support! Except the min 30/month for 2 children which wont start for another 6 weeks. They have no consequences to their selfish actions for years. I do believe one day they'll realise they've missed out on a meaningful relationship with their children and I hope that feels like the worst pain in the world for them.

If you’re in the UK, Clare’s Law, it’s a domestic violence disclosure scheme

This might be a hot take, but as someone who has been through it, I place some responsibility on us as women to document and report it to proper authorities in order to build his rap sheet on case other women are in the same situation. If we neglect it then there's not a lot other than child support we get them on the line for and that's not punishment it's a natural consequence to having children you decide not to raise. Monet made a great point about being able to move forward for your own healing, and that point is 100% valid. We were so extra diligent in gathering every bit of cost from medical, after school care, etc to make a case for an increase in child support which we won (mom helped). I think the state you're in greatly impacts this as well. Texas is hell for dads who walk away and good for moms, but somewhere like Washington and NY have really failed our friends in the system. Work through your anger and channel that into being present for your kids. Your time to start living is now 🙏🏼