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2019 Kids 🇺🇸

Family/Village

I’m having a problem with making my dad feel more like family. We’ve been living with my dad for about 3 years going on four and I had my first baby boy last year. More than likely this is my last child unless some miracle happens and I am supported by my partner and family. My kids don’t really respect him, at least my oldest doesn’t. I guess I kind of don’t either. Due to some things in the past. But he’s always been here for me. However I’ve been kinda doing whatever I want and recently taken getting the kids and I out and on our own like a normal adult. But idk ever since I got pregnant, I mean this is my 3rd baby, was told to get an abortion by the dad and didn’t..anyway so I hid him for a while and my dad asked if I was pregnant. Anywho went thru with the pregnancy. The person I loved, I lost in the process. Was already losing them I guess idk but it was a lot. Maybe if I did the abortion I would’ve or could’ve kept him but i don’t think that would’ve been the case anyway. But so I had a lot to do while being pregnant. I guess I wanted to be “the center of attention” because I was having my first boy. I figured Childrens were a blessing and just wanted to be celebrated and happy about giving life. Long story short I chose to steer away from giving my son a middle name that reminded me of my dad. I give my son a lot of attention that he requires as a baby. I cook for everyone, clean, do laundry help with bills when I can. We’re struggling financially and need more space. My boy is 7months now and crawling. And so idk I brought up letting my dad adopt because of the assistance you get, but that would require me to sign over my parental rights to him. And I don’t know how I feel about it. It would help out tremendously but I feel like since I haven’t been the best person on the planet I could lose the ability to love my children and grow as a parent. I haven’t had a break since my second baby forreal though. Maybe time away from them will give me space I need to grow but I’m lowkey afraid of what can happen to them I’m also trying not to be scared also.