Separation anxiety
does anyone else’s little one have really bad separation anxiety?
She cannot and will not be left with anyone other than me or her dad/ my husband, but often will even cry with my husband for me.
I cannot explain how severe this is, everyone that’s seen her has said they’ve never seen a baby like it, and this has been this way for as long as I can remember.
People keep telling me to just leave her crying and she’ll get use to it but I’m not comfortable doing that.
So much so,
-she cannot go to childcare
-she wakes in the night screaming cause I’m not with her (as soon as we’re back together she’s asleep nuzzled into me)
- if I walk away and leave her with anyone other than husband, for even a second she is utterly hysterical
- she’s puked from crying when I was away for 15 mins (settling in session)
- hyperventilates if I’m gone for too long (again settling in, and spells we’ve tried leaving her with her grandparents)
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I’m in the exact same situation, my little girl hates nursery, only stays with her dad when I’m out of sight, otherwise she just wants to be with me. It’s draining😭
But there’s also a lot of sicknesses going around at the moment and my little one has tonsillitis right now which has made this even worse recently! So keep an eye just incase shes trying to tell you she’s unwell as I missed the signs🙈
(E.g. pulling on ears, finger in mouth, not wanting food/bottle etc)
But it is common at this age to have a “Velcro baby” as between ages 1-2 they are learning so much!
Hope all this helps, this was all the advice I’ve had from family/friends/doctor so I hope passing it on helps you too🥰
We are in a similar boat, it’s since he’s started nursery. It must be a lot to take in for them. He was very poorly in January and we barely left the house so it was just me and him.
He is ok being with his Dad and my parents he’s been ok with but I think even that is on its way to being a problem.
If it’s anybody else is absolutely game over.
We are a month into nursery and he’s hysterical every drop off.
Nights are now absolutely horrific. He used to self settle but he’s standing at his coat screaming until his throat is sore. Same in the middle of the night.
No tips, just solidarity 😢 I’ve heard it’s very common and just have to ride it out xx
Its the stage they form attachment. The more time you spend with her, (or your husband if you need a break) the more she will form a secure attachment. Ive been researching this a lot lately, as my daughter is the same.
She really enjoys playgroups, and will approach adults and kids to play (she is only 1) but if anyone comes to our house and im in and out of the room she will get upset. And isn't herself at all. I think their temperament can make a difference with how they handle this, but all babies are forming attachment from 6 months to about 3yrs.
Everything i have read says don't leave them crying. They are learning that they are worth being comforted and loved. Being there during these clingy years will help her develop self-esteem and independence later on
Thanks everyone for your comments, whilst I’m so sorry your experience the same I do find comfort in knowing that I’m not alone in this.
thank you for shedding a glimmer of positivity on this very difficult situation, I love to hear that me giving her that presence when she’s crying (despite what everyone around us tells us) will be helping her build self esteem and independence.
I should’ve been clearer with my situation, we pulled her out of childcare because it was far too traumatising for her, and we’re currently facing the dilemma of do I give up work because of this. Even though she only did a handful of settling in days, there was no signs of improvement on the horizon, despite everyone else telling me it will just work, I wasn’t prepared to carry on watching my daughter be so heartbroken
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