Child arrangement advise, solicitors or charity that can help with an initial consultation.
Hi. We are a couple, not married and we got a 1 year old baby. The dad it’s on the birth certificate.
We are at a breaking point, I verbally agreed to 50% child arrangement but then when it’s about discussing the days we can each have them he is being difficult, wants his own preferred days, he makes it difficult about nurseries saying you can look for this when you moved out and I can care about her during the day while you do that. I did go without telling him because he won’t accept coming and then he blamed me and behaved as in I am planning to take her away, being defensive etc and telling me he needs to agree which nursery I put her in. I agree about that but if he is not willing to accept we need to find one I went one morning and saw the most local one.
It’s all very scary for me as I am the one who needs to move out and also he has been always a controlling person.
I think a legal consultation would help me at this point.
Is there anyone that can help? The anxiety makes me loose sleep and weight.
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Hi All is depends where you live.FB groups? Just googe on Gov.co.uk and approach citizens Advice bureau
You need to go to the court officially and agree days money - child maintenance etc...does he officially work?
If he is controlling person, domestic violence organizations...
Hi, there are a few law firms that offer the first call for free - it's not a full consultation but will give you some idea of what to expect. Additionally, I would look into mediation - you get 500 gbp allocation by the government (regardless of income) to work on stuff before going to court - it's a good place to start.
Mediators are neutral and you'll work on finding the best compromise for both parents and everything within the best interest of your child.
Often there are legal centers that have free advice at certain times of the day around as well - I'd look for one of those if you need as well.
It's a really tough place to be - my daughter is almost 15 months and we're in the middle of a court process now!
Good luck and feel free to reach out if you need xxx
These two sites are really helpful. There is support out there, please get advice and support, you are not alone and don’t have to suffer in silence ❤️ https://www.flows.org.uk/
and
https://www.rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-advice/call-our-advice-lines/
Well you can start mediation yourself with a MIAM, they will contact him and he can then refuse or accept.
If he refuses you'll be given a paper that allows you to go to court if you wish.
Given her age, I would argue that if you go to court 50-50 (if that's what you want) will be a 2-2-3. It will be fair and even and not based on his wants. So you'll be splitting it by days - pick up nursery and drop off nursery potentially.
Additionally, you can request a special issues order (SIO) to finalise nursery as well in the same court procedures.
Basically - you push for mediation and if not court.
It's a long and stressful process though in my opinion and experience. He seems very difficult but I'd argue that if you can get him to agree to what a court might push for anyway, you could both save money and stress xxx
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