When does sexy time stop hurt after giving birth?
Long post ahead but I’m spiraling. I had a fairly traumatic birth experience with a second degree tear, pp hemorrhage, d&c to get out retained placenta, vulvar hematomas from the hemorrhage and d&c and I bled for 7 weeks pp because I still had retained placenta. My focus has been on my healing and making sure my baby is as healthy as possible. With all of this in mind, we waited to do the deed until I was 6 1/2 months pp because I thought the longer we waited the more healed I’d be and the less it would hurt. We’ve done the deed three times now and every time ends with me in tears because I feel like my body isn’t cooperating and if I’m not enjoying it then he’s not enjoying it which in turn makes me feel like I’m failing him. When does it get better? Is there anything I can do?
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I feel you! And I have been through this hard spiral and the mental game is a huge part on top of the already mental. It takes a while but try not to make it high stress, short experiences more often, its muscles you have to retrain. I did buy the kiwi pelvic floor tool it helped a lot with me becoming more comfortable and desensitizing the area. I tore as well and used that and a perineal balm to massage the scar tissue. And find a good lube that works for you and use a ton! I use the “slippery stuff” brand. Definitely talk with your partner and adjust expectations right now it’s more about getting things comfortable again so you can move towards what your normal was. I also found that if I was stressed, nervous or feeling pain I might also use a vibrator during sex which helped me relax, not feel pain and helped with pleasure. You just did an amazing thing! And you will get back to where you want to be. Also I must say feel free to talk to your OB if you have deeper concerns 💕
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