Husband caught watching porn and……
Last night I woke up because the dog was shaking loudly in the living room. I came out calmly just to ask my husband to put the dog away or make the dog stop shaking, but when I walked out he was sitting on the couch with a blanket over his head and looked shocked that I came out. When I tried to pull the blanket down, he held it tightly so I couldn’t move it. Later he admitted that he was watching porn and masturbating.
The porn itself is honestly not the main issue to me. The bigger issue is everything surrounding our sex life and pregnancy concerns. We have not had sex since around April 26. Before that, I had already been struggling because I do not want to get pregnant again right now, especially after the traumatic birth experience I had with our child, which ended in me suing the hospital for negligence.
I’ve repeatedly told him that I need protection if we’re going to have sex. I asked him to use condoms, but he says condoms are “weird” because we’re married. He also says he can pull out, but he admits himself that he’s usually not on time. This has caused a lot of anxiety for me because I feel like my concerns about pregnancy are not being taken seriously.
What’s bothering me emotionally is that he frames my hesitation around sex as me “not sleeping with him like I’m supposed to,” while at the same time refusing to consistently do the things that would make me feel safe enough to be intimate. It’s making me feel like my body and the consequences of pregnancy are becoming my responsibility alone, while my boundaries and fears are minimized.
I think I’m starting to realize that this situation may be affecting my trust, emotional safety, and connection in the marriage more deeply than I originally thought. Btw this is the second time in like 3 years! Him declining of vasectomy and using protection has literally been an issue.
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Personally I view that as manipulation. Condoms don’t become null because you’re married. He doesn’t just suddenly have a right to your orifices whenever& however he wants them because you married him. Like, does he hear himself? You’ve given him the options and explanation of what he needs to do to have again have a healthy sex life with you. And he says no, I wanna get my dick wet how I want and I don’t care about your feelings, body, and am not willing to compromise.
Theres also not suddenly some parameter of amount and way you’re “supposed” to have sex yet again, if you marry him. He has a very selfish mentality toward sex obviously.
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