in

Canada

Looking for advice/support

How do I not feel like I am failing my kids? I work full time from home, I own a buisness. My husband also works full time in the same buisness but often away from home. I used to be able to do it all on my own, watch the kids, clean, work. However the buisness has grown alot and since 2022 (3 kids) I have had to have a nanny to help out with the kids. However the kids are challenging and all the nannies end up leaving. So since 2024 (4 kids) I have started having 2 nannies to make it not as hard on the nannies, but they still end up all leaving. I now 2026 (5 kids) have 2 nannies both out on sick leave. I just don't know what to do anymore I am exhausted and burnt out. I can't do everything on my own. I am not legaly allowed to replace either nanny, I can just find someone temporarily, however it is hard finding nannies for permanent employment, even harder to find someone for one month at a time. This is the second time in the last 2 years that I have 2 nannies on sick leave at the same time, and in the past they end up never coming back but they keep saying they will so I have to keep their jobs. I just don't know what to do anymore. My kids used to be such good kids when I was the one with them all the time, but the constant in and out of nannies is making them more defiant and difficult. I just don't know what to do anymore... when I'm alone with them on weekends they are such good kids. They listen to me and don't give me any trouble. When I had the same nannies for around 6 months they were good. But the in and out of nannies is hard on them and I don't know how to make it better. I wish I could do it all myself but I just don't have enough hours in a day to watch the kids, do all my work, do the cleaning, the cooking... I do it on the days where I have no replacement nannies available but fall short on either my job or something else.. I just don't know what to do anymore. I can't afford daycare for 5 kids, couldn't even afford it for one with our current salaries. The only reason I can afford 2 nannies is because they are hired through my company. My company is also falling short lately, the jobs are going down and all the jobs end up not working and needing to send back employees for free to fix them. Plus I owe around 750K to the previous owner for the company. I'm just at such a loss on what to do anymore... If I would have known my most consistent, best nanny would leave too I never would have had my last child, I never thought she would leave, she seemed to love her job so much and we had her for 2 years. I'm just in over my head now with a baby and 4 other kids. I had 2 amazing nannies until my baby was born, the first one to leave only stayed for 1 day after the baby was born before leaving and now the other one left on sick leave aswell...
I don't even know what I'm posting this for since I know my situation is just hopeless...