What would you do?
So I(24) live with partner(26), our 2 toddlers and my brother(23) in my parents house, we pay the mortgage and the bills me and my partner agreed this with my dad, initially my partner said he would pay all the bills (I advised we think of a way we could split with my brother but he said no it’s okay) so me and my brother split the mortgage, when we first moved in my brother had a job but he lost his job and has been trying to find another, my parents have their own business which both me and my brother work for so it’s not like he has no options
We are quite behind with both the mortgage and the bills and although my parents haven’t said anything I do feel bad as they’re retired
My partner said that he would talk to my dad and see if we can just pay a portion of the mortgage which personally I don’t think it’s fair to go back on our agreement as my dad wasn’t part of the conversation we had with my brother, he said he would talk to him over a month ago and still hasn’t so I have continued paying the full mortgage and my brother owes me money
My partner has also said me and my brother need to contribute to the bills too again going back on the agreement we made with my brother
Some background my parents live abroad atm and we also will be moving out by September as they want to sell (my brother will be moving somewhere else)
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If I were you I’d speak to your brother, and he needs to sort out his finances because it is affecting you and your family. I’d be clear about a deadline “I need you to start contributing by X” and if it is something you cannot continue to cover for him I’d say that. Finally I would end with the “why” you need him to do this for example “I need this done because I cannot afford to do this on my own. I can only do this until X date, and after that point I will have to find accomodation that I can afford and we’ll have to live separately.”
It’s not just the agreement, it’s about the truth of your situation and setting your boundaries, and setting the expectations of what the outcomes are if your needs aren’t met.
How he goes about that - asking your dad, finding another job etc, that (to me at least) is his business, and I wouldn’t offer comment. If your dad has an issue with him going back on the arrangement that’s between them.
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