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First time mums

Ungrateful?

Am I being unreasonable here?

I’ve come down with some sort of virus and I’m feeling absolutely awful. Unfortunately, my daughter has caught it too. She woke up crying in the night, so we brought her into our bed, meaning none of us got a great night’s sleep.

This morning my partner decided to go into work later to “help me out.” On the face of it, that sounds thoughtful, but he only stayed home for an extra hour and a half. During that time, he gave our daughter some toast, but I still ended up sorting her porridge, bathing her, and getting her ready for the day while feeling dreadful myself.

What is bothering me is that last week he had the same virus and took three days off work. During those three days he mostly stayed in bed resting while I carried on with everything else. Now that I’m ill, I don’t feel like I’ve been given the same opportunity to rest or recover, even though I’m also looking after a sick child.

I don’t think I’m actually upset that he went to work. I think what’s frustrating me is that he said he was staying later to help, but most of the childcare still seemed to fall on me. It also feels like there’s a bit of a double standard when he’s ill versus when I’m ill.

Am I being unfair and ungrateful for feeling annoyed about this, or would other people feel the same?