What would you do?
My husband came to me and complained about a handful of things but the one I want to address is him needing more time.
He works 5 days at his main job, occasionally picks up work on the other 3 days. I work part-time, mostly tending to 3 year old twins.
Sometimes he comes home from work and gets annoyed when I ask him for help with dinner, chores, or parenting.
Valid, he works outside, heat,cold any and everything.
When hes home he may work on a project outside. Sometimes for money Sometimes for hobby. One point he made was having to stop when I call him in the house for help, Sometimes im trying to cook, or edit and needs him to be there. He'll handle it, get them to calm down and he leaves only for them to crank up again and me calling him in again, and he has to stop what hes doing.
He said he needs time to do his thing and support from me, help him. Idk how id do that with the kids haha but anyway I've started spending more time at my mom's. Leave Monday/Tuesday and come back Friday.
Now that he has all the time in the world, he invites friends/family over for drinks or He'll just sleep.......
This has gone on for a month only a few days has he been productive.
The issue, is me and the twins being gone š«©
Like I dont get credit for giving him time, just because we're not home.
I personally thought it was a great solution lol so idk ya'll have any ideas?
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Sounds like you should leave him! What a piece of garbage. Parenting takes two people to divide the responsibility of children. If it was all on me to do on top of work and tending to the children. Iād rather be single and do it all myself so there is no one to drag me down.
Completely disagree with the above comment I think people find it too easy to throw away marriage and relationships. He seems like heās doing a great job trying to provide for your family and works hard.
Maybe you could suggest that he decompresses and does his others jobs after the main rush? That could be he comes home helps while you do dinner etc and then once food is done he can spend the time after doing his odd jobs and you put the children to bed etc. or other way round. That guarantees rest+project time for you both and you get help you need and he doesnāt lose time with the kids.
Could tell him āI see youāre tired from work . I got dinner n twins till 7:30. After that the house is yours.ā
Heāsorobsnly not using the time because without the family there, the house feels like a hotel. Sleeping/friends is easier than projects when youāre solo.
If you stayed home but got 1 guaranteed hour of no twin duty daily, would that feel better than 3 nights at mumās?
And ask him: If you gave him that hour + didnāt interrupt projects after, would you commit to 45 mins with twins before?
Idk, I think Iād just give him what he wants & stay at momās FT so he can live that party life he wants. He obviously isnāt much of a family man & itās not fair to you to have to either pick up all his slack or suffer from his lack of desire to want to be with his family. It would break my kidsā hearts to know dad is home but doesnāt want them around him, my hubs canāt even pull in the gate w/o our 4yo running down the driveway to jump in his arms & drive home w/him, heās been doing so since he could walk, then the next 4hrs he canāt even make any sudden stops when walking, our 4yo walks nose first into his buttš, bc he wants to soak up all the dad time he can get, he gets mom time all day, so it makes sense that he chooses to be this way. We have a 16y too, his bonus son, heās not running down the driveway daily, but they just went to the movies Saturday, he spent 2w making time to watch all the episodes of 16yās fav anime, just so he could take him to see the finale.
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