Feeling scared and overwhelmed — advice appreciated
I recently found out I’m pregnant, and while I feel strongly that I want to keep my baby, my partner doesn’t want to. It’s creating a lot of hurt and division between us, and honestly, I feel really alone in this right now.
I’m sure relationship stress around pregnancy isn’t uncommon, but it’s hard not to feel scared and overwhelmed when the person you hoped would be excited or supportive feels differently. I care about him deeply, but I also know how I feel in my heart.
I guess I’m just looking for support, reassurance, or to hear from anyone who has gone through something similar. Did things get better with time? How did you handle feeling so alone in the beginning?
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Hey. I’m so sorry that these are the circumstances you’re dealing with. The questions that you need to be real with are how long have you been together and what are his genuine views on having children. What are his/your family dynamics like? Where are you at in life/career and the same for him. It’s a really hard time to have a kid right now economically speaking. Him not wanting the child is a major red flag and you don’t want him resenting you for this major life decision. You also deserve to experience pregnancy where you both are excited to deal with this major life change which is meant to be beautiful!
I decided to move forward and we’re still together. But it’s come with toxicity, growth, maturity. In many ways it was worth it but being prepared mentally physically spiritually and financially together is important. Love doesn’t pay the bills nor always keep a relationship together. You also don’t want your child to be the only reason to stay together.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. Ultimately it’s your choice! However if you continue your pregnancy I would mentally prepare for the probability of him not coming around unfortunately
Heart goes out to you ♡ Whereas it’s ultimately your choice, I do believe tackling this as a team is ideal. I know it’s hurtful that he does not want to keep the baby at this time, and bringing a child ties you to this person more than marriage. I agree with the above comment saying to be real with those questions and discuss this further with your partner. I will say I don’t think him not wanting to keep the child is a “major red flag” he may just not feel ready, or that this is a good time and that’s his right to feel that way.
I'm sorry this is the situation you have found yourself in. I think a serious conversation on views of family, life path/goals, and responsibility of each of you is needed. This may be a couple conversations over a few days. First things first though, is deciding to keep the pregnancy or not, this is completely your choice, just know you may be raising this child on your own. The father may decide to help and do a joint custody, or to just split and leave. Maybe he stays and financially supports you and the baby, but isn't there and active as a father. You won't be able to force him to do exactly what you want or need, so an open conversation with him and full acknowledgement of what you are signing up for is needed and can save you a lot of heartache over the coming months and years. I wish you the very best, truly.
Thank you everyone on your perspectives! It’s definitely opening my eyes and making me aware of possibilities to come. I appreciate it so much
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