A former friend of mine was going through a divorce and she said something that made me end our friendship permanently.
I usually try not to judge but admittedly I did. It’s okay that we aren’t friends anymore. We’re just fundamentally different people but it made me wonder if more moms think like me or like her.
I knew that her soon to be ex already had 2 previous baby mamas. What I didn’t know was that one of them turned up after some time and asked for help and for the kid to get to know his dad. She said that the kid couldn’t be a part of their family and they better not ask for child support because more money for her. Her exact words. More money for her.
I thought that if she treats an innocent kid like that she’d treat anyone like that or worse and had other reasons to think it already.
When my husband asked why he hadn’t seen that friend around in a while I told him that I couldn’t respect or be close with someone who would treat a kid that way and said that if he had a kid show up from before we’d ever met and he threw the kid out, that I wouldn’t be able to look at him the same way again for knowingly abandoning his own kid. That we’d do our best to figure out a way to have the kid involved in our family in a way that works for them and their mother and would help financially how we could. He agreed that he couldn’t and I genuinely do believe him. He’s such a loving and caring man I couldn’t see him doing something like that.
But it made me wonder how many other moms would be more like me, more like her, or somewhere in the middle in that situation.
Thoughts?
The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.
When my mom was 8 months pregnant with me my sperm donor told her thay he couldn't be with her anymore because he got another woman pregnant. A family friend..... my step-mom did not want my dad anywhere near my mom. Lol because she knew my dad was with my mom and she knew about me. My dad did keep coming around for awhile and even refused to see me because he wanted to get in bed with my mom (while married to step-mom). My mom finally cut it off after some time. But to say all that because my sperm donors family all condoned him not seeing me. My oldest uncle got a letter from my mom saying she would love for him to have a relationship with me he asked my sperm donor about it and my sperm donor said it was up to him. He chose not to. From what my dad said to my mom his mother said it would be too awkward on step mom if my grandma had a relationship with my mom so she's just not gonna have a relationship with me. Even when I was an adult and tried to send her a message on fb and she ignored it.
Most definitely. But trust me i am 100% on your side. I think it's absolutely selfish and disgusting of a i dont even want to call her a woman would do that. She obviously lacks morals and empathy.
I couldn’t imagine wanting a man that bad that you would settle for a deadbeat
Children need both their parents in their lives and custody/child support should be court ordered if an agreement can’t be made or responsibilities aren’t being met. His money should go to all of his children. I think your friend is frustrated but misplacing blame: truly, she’s frustrated with her own choices because she shouldn’t have had kids with someone that already had kids with other women.
Download the Peanut App
